A Special Anniversary Message to Square Enix

Today marks the 25th Anniversary of Final Fantasy VII, the game that turned Square Enix and the Sony PlayStation into gaming juggernauts. However, this milestone anniversary came at a time when the fanbase is bitterly divided, and on top of that, during a pandemic.

The Final Fantasy VII Remake and the Final Fantasy Pixel Remasters, while they were nowhere near the dumpster fire that was Balan Wonderworld, were not worth the customer's money. If Jenova being an ugly penultimate boss in the original Final Fantasy VII was any indication, nobody wants to think about how ugly Jenova will look in the Final Fantasy VII Remake when Cloud and his friends face her as the penultimate boss.

I can understand getting rid of music piracy. But a full scale assault on music piracy is only going to cause people to close their wallets because people see it as an act of war against digital freedom.

Whoever supports leftists will get ostracized, and Square Enix is no exception. Justice for minorities is important, but the leftist methods are not the correct way to do so. Whatever you do, do not donate to leftists, or you will get shunned just like Square Enix.

To be honest, I have never played any Final Fantasy game in my entire life, and I will probably never play a Final Fantasy game in the future years that are yet to come.

No Jaywalking!

Remember, jaywalking is against the law. You either get slapped with a fine, or become roadkill just like the frog from Frogger.

The blocker lemming is telling Mr Game and Watch not to cross the road because a frog had just been run over by an automobile, just like in Frogger. Looks like blocker lemmings would make the best traffic police officers when it comes to telling pedestrians not to cross any road known for high roadkill rates.

Ion Cannon Blasted

The Tekken fighting game series is known for being very ridiculous. And it does not help when the Mishima Clan's blood feud takes the ridiculousness to a whole new level.

In Tekken 7, Heihachi Mishima fired an Orbital Laser Satellite at the Millennium Tower, obliterating it and killing everybody inside except his son Kazuya and Street Fighter's Akuma, who were fighting on the roof of the Millennium Tower at the time of its destruction. The crazy thing is that the Orbital Laser Satellite functions similarly to the Ion Cannon Satellite that the Global Defense Initiative deployed to obliterate the Brotherhood of Nod's Temple in Command and Conquer's Tiberium storyline.

You can add the Orbital Laser Satellite to the list of crazy things the Mishimas did in the history of the Tekken series. That's how ridiculous the Tekken series has become.

Tekken 7 © Bandai Namco.

Illegal Easy Victory

This is what censorship is designed for. Blocking people from viewing Not Safe For Work content, not stifling creativity.

In Bikini Karate Babes, there is an easy victory method involving removing your opponent's bra, forcing them to run off squealing. This method would have been considered illegal by today's standards as it would be considered "Not Safe For Work" and totally inappropriate.

Better off in Wet Panties

If the female swimmer trainers from Pokemon Sword and Shield as well as Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl got their bikinis wet, at least they would fare much better than Tarta and Tatra when their bikinis got wet. However, any mention of panties getting wet would obviously be considered inappropriate, even though bikinis are designed to get wet. That's why the female swimmer trainers do not even mention that they would rather get their panties wet when the player character defeats them.

Pokemon Sword and Shield and Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl © Nintendo/Game Freak.