Swimming Pool Matriarch Visual Gag Variations 9

Hey, folks. I'm back once again with yet another Matriarch of the Swimming Pool visual gag variations comic.

Contrary to popular belief, David the Champion of Jehovah was not the underdog that Sunday School often portrays him as in the story of David Vs Goliath. You see, slingers such as David were a Bronze Age battlefield elite that were arguably deadlier than most archers of that period. Getting hit in the face's "Golden Triangle" by a stone ball moving at 100 miles per hour is as fatal today as it was back in the days of David and Goliath. In other words, Goliath was going up against the wrong enemy...

Let's face it. Even if Dan Hibiki is considered the most pathetic character in the history of Street Fighter, he would still win against Glass Joe, Bubsy and Awesome Possum, even if these three born losers joined forces against him.

The first day of January was not the correct day to start the New Year. In fact, the Anno Mundi Calendar states that the first day of Spring, a.k.a. the Spring Equinox, is the true start of the New Year. Yet, Julius Caesar thinks there is nothing wrong with starting the New Year in the dead of Winter. Looks like the Roman Empire is the 4th Beast of Daniel 7 because that 4th Beast has a "little horn" that has the intention to change times and law...

While the Swedish Strv 74 looks weak and outdated by Cold War standards, even this tank could win against the Panzer 68 despite the Panzer 68's superior stats because the Panzer 68 was very problematic according to the Swiss Ministry of Defence.

Speaking of problematic tanks, China's Type 69 Tank was problematic, but not as problematic as the Panzer 68. Both the Iranians and Iraqis identified serious problems with the Type 69 Tank during the Iran-Iraq War. Even the M47 Patton, which would have been considered obsolete by this point, could win against the Type 69. With all that said, Thailand did the right thing when they dumped their Type 69 Tanks overboard to turn them into artificial reefs.

If there was anyone in Puella Magi Madoka Magica who had to go through far worse suffering than even born losers such as Dan Hibiki, Glass Joe, Bubsy and Awesome Possum, it has to be Sayaka Miki. Her funeral at the beginning of Episode 11 of Puella Magi Madoka Magica is a fusion of tragedy and depression because she wanted to heal Kyosuke's hands, but this left her unappreciated and she became so depressed that she became the very same enemy she was supposed to fight against, and ended up dying as a result.

Birth Date Debunking

If there was any reason for those who want nothing to do with Christmas to continue in their refusal of celebrating Christmas, it's because Jesus Christ may not even be in it. How do we know? The clues have always been in the Bible.

The clues have always been in the Gospel of Luke. In Luke 2:1-4, Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem to register in a Roman census. Such censuses were not taken in the Winter due to cold weather. In Luke 2:7-8, the shepherds were in the fields watching their flocks at the time of the birth of Jesus. The shepherds would have sought shelter for their flocks at night before the arrival of the Autumn rains. Therefore, the shepherds and their flocks were not in the fields during December because December in Israel is cold and rainy.

In conclusion, those who have a disdain for Christmas should continue on with their disdain, especially when those who really uphold their disdain for Christmas do not even say "Bah Humbug!"

Low Expectations For 2025

If the demise of Cohost and the Balkanization of the Internet is any indication, 2025 is not going to be an Annus Mirabilis whatsoever. To make matters worse, 2025 may be the year the tyrant who knows dark sentences rise, and his rise will be through flatteries. This tyrant will make war against many foes, including the King of the South, the Anglosphere, the Israeli Defence Forces, a conglomerate of rogue states, and the King of Kings himself.

A Note from a Time Traveler

Have you ever had a strange dream where you found one of those notes left behind by time travelers? This note is just one good example. In this case, the time traveler comes from the time after Christ's Second Coming. He had managed to create a time machine to deliver a note to someone from before the Great Tribulation. The note was sent back to the past to deliver a message of hope amid the coming doom and gloom, and it had this to say about a bright future:

1. People will stop arguing about who the true successor to the Roman Empire is because the Roman Empire no longer exists.

2. Tyrannical dictatorships will cease to exist.

3. There will be no more gridlocked democracies.

4. Humanity will observe the Anno Mundi Calendar.

5. There will be no more terrorist attacks against trains.

6. Weapons of war will be converted to farming equipment.

7. Harvests will be so bountiful that the combine harvesters can barely keep up with them.

8. Food quality and flavor will be drastically improved.

9. The very first YouTube video will finally get the grand remake it had been waiting for.

10. Cat videos still rule the Internet.

11. Tetris still remains very popular.

12. All of this and many other good things that are not on the list have been made possible because the Demon King who deceived Adam and Eve at the Garden of Eden had been thrown into the Bottomless Pit.

With all that said, a bright future awaits those who survived the Demon King's tyranny during the Great Tribulation, especially those who used to be the subjects of the dictators and tyrants who opposed Christ when he returned to Earth to prevent it from becoming tohu and bohu.

Foolishness of God

You were expecting a comic about Resurrection Sunday to be uploaded. But it was a comic about why April Fools' Day needs to be abolished that got uploaded instead.

April Fools' Day was a mistake because there is nothing good about foolishness, and this was explicitly stated in the Bible. The foolishness of God, however, is wiser than men. But April Fools' Day has nothing to do with the foolishness of God because it was never the result of the foolishness of God. Therefore, April Fools' Day should be abolished because it is one of the fruits of the confusion this world has been afflicted with.

The Truth About New Year's Day

If there was any legitimate reason to shun New Year's Day, the Bible may have the solutions for you. For example, the Vernal Equinox, commonly called the Spring Equinox, is the true start of the new year. Then we have New Year's resolutions failing because real change takes a lot more time than just mere resolutions. It gets even worse when you realize that New Year's holidays see many cases of drink driving incidents, with some of them being fatal.

If God wants us to not welcome the New Year on January 1, maybe we should go back to saying "Happy First Day of Spring" instead. Maybe going back to the Anno Mundi Calendar and observing the Spring Equinox will set right everything wrong with our calendar.

New Year Confusion

The Roman Calendar has confused the whole world by relegating the Anno Mundi Calendar to the sidelines. No one can start anew in the middle of winter. Even God knows that, which is why his New Year begins on the Vernal Equinox, which is synonymous with the First Day of Spring. The Vernal Equinox gets its name from the Latin word vernare which means to bloom. Unfortunately, Julius Caesar relegated the Anno Mundi Calendar to the sidelines by moving the first day of the new year to January 1. But his assassination did not do any justice for the Spring Equinox, because the Roman Empire refused to move the first day of the new year back to the Spring Equinox. This resulted in lots of confusion, and humanity has been paying the price since then.

The Reason to forget Birthdays

Truth be told, Christ did not want us to remember his birthday. He, like the many heroes and heroines of the Bible, did not celebrate birthdays. Maybe it's because of the biblical accounts of birthdays being associated with somebody's death, namely Pharaoh's chief baker and John the Baptist. Also, a fair amount of sources confirm that Christ was born near the Autumn Equinox and not near the Winter Solstice. Therefore, forgetting one's birthday, including your own, is more forgivable than following traditions that are ungodly.

When Death is more important than Birth...

Author's Note: Today marks ten years since my father passed away. At the time of his death, the state of the world was very turbulent, but now that turbulence has grown a lot worse.

In Ecclesiastes 7:1, it was stated that the day of death is better than the day of birth because in two major instances of birthdays being mentioned in the Bible, they both mentioned somebody dying in a very horrible way, namely the Pharaoh's chief baker and John the Baptist. Therefore, remembering death anniversaries make more sense. In fact, a few European countries in recent years celebrated the lives of a few emperors of the Holy Roman Empire on the death anniversaries of these people. However, these Europeans do not know that these emperors had to cause so much suffering just to shape Europe to what it is today.

Speaking of Rome, the Roman Empire used to observe the Anno Mundi Calendar until Julius Caesar made the Romans ditch the Anno Mundi Calendar in favour of the Julian Calendar, believing that it will make death anniversaries easier to remember, and it did when he was assassinated on the 15th of March, 44 BC. Several centuries later, the Julian Calendar was reworked, resulting in the creation of the Gregorian Calendar. Both the Julian and Gregorian Calendars, however, are not approved by God because they do not follow the Anno Mundi Calendar, which explicitly states that the year begins on the first day of spring, while these two man-made calendars force humanity to start the new year in the middle of winter. In other words, Rome had indeed made a huge mistake in its bid to rule the world.

Freedom's Demise

This Pentecost, it's time to reflect on how much we have lost over the past 25 years...

2023 is not even halfway over, and it has become yet another Annus Horribilis. To be fair, 2023 went off to a bad start when Sim Wong Hoo, the creator of Sound Blaster, died in the early days of 2023. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. Cyberattacks are nothing new. But in recent years, they have been merciless to YouTube accounts, including dormant ones. If that is not enough, Internet Archive being found guilty of copyright infringement, as well as Nintendo, Square Enix and Toei going after alleged acts of intellectual property theft have to be the poisonous fruits of Japan's anti-terrorism law and the European Union Copyright Directive. Even worse still has to be the proposed purges of inactive accounts by Google and Twitter. But all of these are nothing compared to the debt bombs America and China are sitting on, which in turn will be dwarfed by natural disasters becoming more frequent, and dictatorial warmongers becoming more belligerent. All of these are merely signs that the Great Tribulation is near, and there will be nothing like it because it will lead to the final showdown in a battleground north of Jerusalem. One that will determine the fate of the Earth...

Annus Mirabilis

In Latin, Annus Mirabilis means miraculous year. This means Annus Mirabilis is the exact opposite of Annus Horribilis.

Apparently, we are all sick and tired of Annus Horribilises. From wars and persecutions, to earthquakes, weather disasters and pandemics. To make matters worse, one of the Internet's biggest preservationists, Internet Archive, suffered a setback in the courthouse, effectively endangering the future of preserving the past. But all of this is nothing compared to the Great Tribulation, because during the Great Tribulation, spreading the true Gospel will be a crime that can get you executed in multiple different ways, and nowhere on Earth will the true Gospel be legal during these terrible times...

However, when the Great Tribulation gets cut short thanks to Christ coming back, the Evil One will be serving a prison sentence in the bottomless pit for 1000 years. By the way, the 1000 years will be in Anno Mundi years because Jesus will make us go back to using the Anno Mundi Calendar, which was always the correct calendar since the beginning of man's days on Earth. This means when Earth comes under God's jurisdiction, there will be 1000 years of Annus Mirabilises. Talk about utopia...

Vernal Equinox Lamentations

Another name for the Spring Equinox is the Vernal Equinox, which is also synonymous with the beginning of the Anno Mundi Calendar. However, this year's Spring Equinox may not begin the Anno Mundi Calendar Year on a positive note...

As if natural disasters, pestilences, wars and persecutions aren't bad enough, the Internet Archive had to settle a court case that could determine the future of digital libraries. This court case is one the Internet Archive must win, otherwise, archiving the past may be classified as a cybercriminal act.

Winter Memories

Remember, nobody can start anew in the middle of winter.

Snowboarding is one of the greatest winter sports, and there are many memories of such good times. But now, these memories are merely part of a bygone era that no longer exists...

There is nothing wrong with the Winter Solstice. In fact, the Winter Solstice is a wonderful day. But the real problem is that the New Year only begins on the Spring Equinox, not in the middle of winter, and most definitely not on the Winter Solstice. Perhaps this is why our world is so turbulent. It is a world that loves being held captive by dark forces so much that it has throughout history been constantly rejecting the God that created it.

Incorrect Date

As expected, 2021 was another Annus Horribilis that left us bitter and sour, so do not be too hopeful about 2022 because things will get a whole lot worse after Germany's stalemate elections...

Ever wondered why New Year's resolutions have failed most of the time? That's because nobody can begin anew in the dead of winter. In fact, the real start of the new year according to the Anno Mundi Calendar occurs on the Spring Equinox. Apparently, God did not begin His year in the dead of winter, meaning we should not have ditched the Anno Mundi Calendar. But Julius Caesar considered the Anno Mundi Calendar too imperfect, and so he designed a calendar that became the basis for the one many countries around the world use today. This, however, made humanity turn away from the true God, resulting in many terrible consequences, including the current pandemic, the climate change crisis, economic downturns and bloody conflicts. At the end of the day, we will all realize that turning away from the true God and ditching the Anno Mundi Calendar were terrible mistakes that brought calamities upon ourselves.

Perhaps our biggest New Year's resolution will be to turn back to God and start going back to using the Anno Mundi Calendar instead.

Reason for Calamity

Maybe we should not have ditched the Anno Mundi Calendar. It's possible the natural disasters caused by climate change were the result of us severing ties with God. Yet we persist on following traditions that were not only not found in the Bible, but were actually prohibited by God. No wonder the calamities Earth is suffering from over the past few decades are getting worse and worse. It's time we go back to the Anno Mundi Calendar and turn back to God.

Whoever thinks Jesus was born a few days after the Winter Solstice is clearly unaware that nowhere in the Bible does it tell us to observe Jesus' birth. In fact, the exact date of Jesus' birth was never listed in the Bible, although the clues claim that Jesus was born near the end of September, with the clues being shepherds watching their flocks and a population census was being carried out. Shepherds would never take their flocks out in the cold winter weather, and nobody in the right mind would carry out a population census in winter. Maybe Jesus was born near the Autumn Equinox. Who knows?

Why We Dislike Mondays

If there is any genuine reason for a lot of people, including Garfield, to hate Mondays, blame "the little horn" from Daniel 7 for tricking us into following a clumsy man-made calendar that is not of Godly origin. Maybe this is why God is so displeased with us that he is judging the Earth to the point that some people regret ditching the Anno Mundi Calendar for a clumsy man-made calendar that is not of Godly origin. We should go back to observing the days, weeks, months and years according to the Anno Mundi Calendar. Only then will we be truly able to count the 1260 days of the Great Tribulation until the return of the Chosen One.

The Anno Mundi Calendar states that the week begins at the end of the true Sabbath, which occurs on the sunset of Saturday. But "the little horn" makes us begin the working week at the stroke of midnight on Monday. The Anno Mundi Calendar states that the months begin with the new moons, But this "little horn" makes us begin the months according to a clumsy man-made calendar that is not of Godly origin. The Anno Mundi Calendar states that the year begins on the Spring Equinox, when life starts budding in nature everywhere, yet "the little horn" tricked a deluded world into beginning the year in the middle of dead winter.

Eventually, our hatred of Mondays will disappear when Yeshua eliminates "the little horn" for all the deceitfulness that deluded the world for thousands of years. Garfield will be very happy to welcome Yeshua back, for he will set everything right by making the Earth go back to following the Anno Mundi Calendar again.

A Letter that seems Legit

Let's accept it. Halloween should be removed from the calendar altogether. Even the zombies are sick of it and just wish to be transformed back to normal humans just like us. And the pestilence that grows worse by the day is just a lame excuse for its abolition. Halloween should be abolished not just because it has become too unwholesome for its own good, but the Holy Bible denounces it as unholy.

Maybe we should have listened to the Holy Bible. Then the calamities we are suffering through would not have happened. But such calamities were actually predicted by the Bible, so the only thing that's important right now is our personal repentance.

2021 Half time Report

It's the 30th of June again, and you know what this means. It's time for yet another half time report.

The raid on the US Capitol is a terrible riot that is undermining democracy. Enemy rockets have bombarded Israel once more, the #FreeChina movement has suffered its biggest blow as a Hong Kong newspaper that champions truth closes operations for good, and the European Union's copyright regulations make life difficult for all netizens. But the pandemic is the worst part, because the "cure" is not helping us as much as we hoped.

Apparently, all of these are just forerunners for worse times to come, and all of them were foretold in the Bible. So do not expect 2022 to be better than 2021.

Winter Solstice

Ever wondered what is worse than getting coal for Christmas? Getting bupkis (slang term for nothing at all) for Christmas! At least coal can keep you warm when fed into a fireplace. Also, coal is an important resource in steel manufacturing and a vital non-renewable source of energy.

Because of pestilence, perhaps we should give Christmas a miss. For all we know, Christmas is not part of Christianity, and the evidence can actually be found in a fair amount of sources, one of which is the Catholic Encyclopedia.

In fact, there are big questions over the actual Hebrew Calendar year. Some claim there have been many errors regarding the actual Hebrew year. While the Gregorian Calendar is an Anno Domini Calendar, the Hebrew Calendar, however, is an Anno Mundi Calendar. Anno Mundi in Latin means "year of the world," and it's no surprise that an Anno Mundi Calendar could be the most accurate man-made calendar. For all we know, the number of years until Yeshua's triumphant return could potentially be single digits away...

If you want to forgo Christmas this year due to the pestilence, please observe the Winter Solstice instead without any merriment whatsoever. After all, we should go back to observing the Spring Equinox as the start of the new year as well...

Creepy Cancellation

According to true biblical Christianity, Halloween should be completely removed because it is incompatible with the teachings of the Bible. Also, the people who perished from the current pandemic will not rise from their graves as zombies. Therefore, zombies are just as mythical as the concept of an immortal soul.

While pork is officially confirmed to be unsafe for consumption according to a fair number of sources on the internet, they did not discourage billions of people from eating pork. But if another incident of demons possessing pigs were to happen just like in the time of Jesus, it would have caused a mini famine in that particular area, but it would not coerce people to give up on eating pork and pork products.