Warzone Goners

Author's Note: All copyrights for the characters in this comic go to their respective owners.

The warzones of Command and Conquer: Red Alert have no place for pathetic weaklings. Here are five weaklings who should never be in such warzones.

France's biggest loser needs no introduction whatsoever. Glass Joe has an abysmal 99 losses according to his lore in the Punch-Out series. If he were to fight in the Red Alert trilogy's version of the Cold War, even a cheap conscript would easily mow him down in personal combat.

As the weakest character in the Street Fighter series, Dan Hibiki was always destined to be weak. He's not as weak as Glass Joe, but still, he will get mowed down by conscripts...

Bubsy's catchphrase of "What could possibly go wrong?" will end up becoming self-fulfilling if this Bobcat were to be fighting in a Cold War gone hot because he will end up angering Soviet Russia's huskies and War Bears, resulting in him getting eaten up by them.

While Spelunker has bombs and an Uzi, these weapons will mean nothing when falling from a height of one meter means instant death. Therefore, Spelunker would be dead if he was to fight in the Red Alert warzones...

Wynn already has too many enemies and hazards that would knock him dead in one hit in his own game. If this fragile protagonist were to be posted to the Red Alert warzones, he would definitely be a goner despite being armed with bombs.

TL;DR, if these weaklings went to the Red Alert warzones, all of them are guaranteed to be goners.

Memories of a Bygone Era

Images in this comic that will potentially invoke nostalgia for a bygone era, from left to right: Cayna and Silviana having baked potatoes with cheese and mashed potato toppings, Ramaya taking her skirt off at the beach, Tyris Flare and Ramaya doing the Epic Handshake, The Peanut Butter Jelly Time Dancing Banana saying his catchphrase.

Now that Ramaya from Arabian Fight and the Peanut Butter Jelly Time Dancing Banana have made their appearances in Neo Retro Union's comics, the big question is, who will be next?

Amid all the turmoil going on right now, be it the sour rivalry between the leftists and the rightists, the big revolt in Iran, China still being obsessed with ending the Century of Humiliation by force amid a severe downturn, and the Internet becoming more broken due to its ongoing balkanization at the hands of a European Beast whose rise continues unhindered despite the threats of rogue tyrants and terrorists, many netizens would love to remember a time when freedom of creativity wasn't threatened by dark forces that seek to weaponize regulations for imperialistic purposes, and I am one of those netizens...

Remember those times when we ate baked potatoes at restaurants? Those baked potatoes came with various toppings such as the baked potato toppings found in RuneScape (Cheese, Egg and Tomato, Tuna and Sweetcorn, etc.), meats, vegetables, mushrooms, and even mashed potatoes. In this comic, Cayna is having a baked potato with cheese, while Silviana is having a baked potato that has mashed potato topping. How I miss those good times...

Anyone who visits the beach, especially female characters, would like to get ready to hit the beach, and undressing at the beach is all too common. In this case, Ramaya from the obscure Sega arcade game Arabian Fight is taking her skirt off. Her crop top looks like a bra with short sleeves meaning all she needs to do is take her skirt off and she's ready to get wet in her crop top and panties.

Remember the Epic Handshakes comic that I made back in 2024? Well, the third panel in this comic is a continuation of that Epic Handshakes comic. This panel features Tyris Flare from Golden Axe and Ramaya from Arabian Fight doing the Epic Handshake because they're both heroines from arcade beat 'em ups that are made by Sega. It's highly likely they are both excited about finding a lake they can go swimming in.

The Dancing Banana needs no introduction whatsoever. Created by Trym Stene in 1999, the Dancing Banana GIF only soared in popularity when it got combined with the song "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" by DJ Chip-Man and The Buckwheat Boyz in the early 2000s. Since then, the Peanut Butter Jelly Time Dancing Banana has always been the one person who keeps coming back when the Internet needs him most.

With all that said, we can all agree that we all miss the good times that are long gone. However, we must remember that there is a far brighter future that holds more happiness than the nostalgia of a bygone era.

Space Shuttle Challenger Explosion 40 Years On

Author's Note: At the time of the Space Shuttle Challenger's mid-air explosion the 28th of January, 1986, it was already the 29th of January in Singapore.

It's been 40 years since the tragic Space Shuttle Challenger explosion that killed 7 astronauts. One of these astronauts, Christa McAuliffe, was actually a substitute who took the place of Caroll Spinney, who revealed before his death in 2019 that he did not go on board Space Shuttle Challenger due to practical reasons, with the most obvious one being the Big Bird costume being too big to fit through the Space Shuttle entrance. This resulted in NASA requesting a teacher by the name of Christa McAuliffe taking Caroll Spinney's place instead.

May the 7 souls who boarded the ill-fated Space Shuttle Challenger, including the teacher Christa McAuliffe, rest in peace. Also, we all dearly miss the late Caroll Spinney as well...

Australia at 125

Fun Fact: The tanks that are talking about how much they miss the Australia of 2001 in this comic are tanks that served in the Australian Army. The tank on the left is an M1 Abrams, and the tank on the right is a Leopard AS1. Both tanks have a fan-made roundel specially made for this comic featuring a seven-pointed star one can find on the Australian flag.

It's sad to think about it, but the Australia of today is a far cry from the Australia of 2001. Back in those days, Holden was still around and it was manufacturing great cars such as the Holden Commodore. The early days of 2001 were also a much simpler time for Australian netizens back when they only had GeoCities and AOL Instant Messenger, and draconian internet regulations were non-existent. Today, the demise of Holden in 2021 is starting to become a forgotten memory, especially when Australia is now struggling to rein in violent crimes, cyberbullying and cyberterrorism through enforcing draconian regulations that are ironically doing more harm than good. In other words, Australia has become a prison like it's 1788 all over again, and it's all because Australians under 16 are prohibited from using social media, and don't even get started on the Bondi Beach Hanukkah Massacre...

To my Australian fans, Happy Australia Day.

Kyubey Gets Stomped

Characters stomping Kyubey, from left to right: Sakura Kinomoto (Star Dress) (Cardcaptor Sakura), Totooria Helmold (Atelier Meruru Attire) (Atelier Totori), Cayna (In the Land of Leadale), High Elf Archer (Goblin Slayer).

2026 marks the 15th Anniversary of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Its fanbase, however, still remains bittersour over the fact that Kyubey did not received any real comeuppance no matter how many petitions they have sent to Aniplex and Gen Urobuchi. That's why the fans have decided to take justice into their own hands, and I am already on that bandwagon.

Sakura Kinomoto giving her hardest stomp on Kyubey makes the most sense because a magical girl (that's not from Puella Magi Madoka Magica) stomping a villainous manipulator is an act of protest against Kyubey's nonsensical contracts and the true nature of the Soul Gems. Also, Sakura is doing a favour for the heroines of Puella Magi Madoka Magica because none of them are able to do things right...

While alchemists such as Totooria Helmold from the Atelier series avoid getting involved in heavy-duty combat most of the time, in the case of dealing with Kyubey, Totooria Helmold wouldn't mind giving a hard stomp on a villainous manipulator if it means doing justice and acquiring alchemy materials at the same time.

Cayna, being a motherly matriarchal figure, would definitely stomp Kyubey if it means denying a villainous manipulator from deceiving others.

As for High Elf Archer, she wouldn't mind giving Kyubey a hard stomp, believing that a deceiver like Kyubey is no different from the goblins she has to take down on a daily basis.

All in all, Kyubey needs to die over 9000 times for deceiving so many girls.

No More Pay-To-Win

It finally happened. After 124985 RuneScape players made their vote in a referendum to determine the future of RuneScape, Treasure Hunter has been removed from the game as of Today. Will the end of the Pay-To-Win Era bring a new Golden Age for RuneScape? Time will tell. Sooner or later, time will tell...

Thinking of other things other than other ladies 5

Hey folks, I'm back with yet another comic about my OCs in a lawyer-friendly version of the "Thinking about other women" meme.

While not as common as the Apple II's presence in Singapore, the Commodore C64 had moderate success in Singapore's home computer market in the 1980s. This means there is a possibility of Singapore having a community dedicated to the history of the Commodore C64 and its game library, with Jaleco's Rod Land being one of those games. The question is, if Singapore had the C64 port of Rod Land, how rare would that game be in that region?

Speaking of Singapore's home computer market in the 1980s, Japanese home computers were also marketed in Singapore. It's also possible that Singapore had the Sony MSX, the Fujitsu FM-7, and the NEC PC-8000, but they were less common than the Commodore C64.

MapleStory had multiple time-limited crossovers with other franchises, with the Japanese version having the Frieren: Beyond Journey's End Crossover Event. Now that it's over, the next crossover event could have SAMG and Nexon come to an agreement to have the Teeniepings from Catch! Teenieping come to MapleStory in another time-limited event, and this event will be in the South Korean version and the Japanese version. After all, the Teenieping series hails from South Korea just like MapleStory.

Many regions where Nintendo consoles are marketed in can only have either the Famicom or the NES. Singapore, however, was one of the few regions where the video game stores had both the Famicom and the NES.

It's unknown if Rod Land's Rit or Princess Crown's Gradriel could survive the realm of Golden Axe. Maybe Golden Axe's brutal setting would be far too much for Rit, but Gradriel would probably end up destroying Death Adder in record time.