Thinking of other things other than other ladies

Author's note: This comic is a lawyer-friendly version of the highly popular "Thinking about other women" meme that is being shared throughout the World Wide Web.

I'm very sure the reason Ash Ketchum could never grow old after 25 years is because Ash Ketchum was Satoshi Tajiri's real self from the very beginning.

If Ash Ketchum's original nemesis Gary Oak was indeed named after Super Mario Bros creator Shigeru Miyamoto, then sentencing Gary Oak to death would be tantamount to a grave insult against the creator of Super Mario Bros.

I'm very sure Game Theory was right from the start regarding the Toads having a parasite so terrifying that even Bowser and every other ringleader of the Koopa Troop would have been unable to rein in this highly destructive threat.

What's bigger and badder than Fury Bowser? Demon Dragon Ganon from The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. It's also possible Demon Dragon Ganon is the biggest, baddest Ganon in the history of the Zelda series.

Given that Tekken had a long history in the arcade gaming scene, Tekken fans were sorely disappointed over Heihachi Mishima's absence from the Bad-Anon meeting scene in Wreck-it Ralph.

Famiclones do exist in Bulgaria, and they became more popular than Bulgaria's Pravetz computers due to Famiclones costing less than Pravetz computers.

Namco X Gundam

With the release of the Gundam Breaker 4 Pac-Man Collaboration Update, it would make more sense for Bandai Namco characters to become Gundam pilots. There are many Namco characters who would make great Gundam pilots, but Pac-Man, Klonoa and Steve Fox are probably the only Namco characters who are eligible to become Gundam pilots.

Then again, if Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 can have Lars Alexandersson from Tekken as a playable character, I don't see any reason why the Gundam series games do not include Steve Fox from Tekken as a possible Gundam pilot.

Namco games and characters © Bandai Namco.

Swimming Pool Matriarch Visual Gag Variations 4

Once again, it's time for more wisdom from the Matriarch of the Swimming Pool.

Sephiroth's parents did say mean things to Cloud. Jenova does not speak. But when she did, she called Cloud "a puppet". Professor Hojo, the evil genius who happens to be Sephiroth's father, called Cloud "the Failure".

There are no traces of PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale in the PS5 built-in freeware Astro's Playroom. This also includes the complete absence of Polygon Man from the game. Instead, the final boss was the PS1 Tech Demo T-Rex, who just happens to have no game of his own before Astro's Playroom. Maybe PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale will get a Definitive Remaster one day, and hopefully, the Astro's Playroom stage will be included, with the PS1 Tech Demo T-Rex included as a stage hazard.

In Resident Evil 2, Dr William Birkin seeks to implant the G virus into his daughter Sherry Birkin. For that, the heroes had to kill him. As a result, Dr Birkin perished a mutated monster. But what made him so unlikeable was his obsession with implanting the G virus into his daughter. This means Dr William Birkin is a worse father than Tekken's Heihachi Mishima.

The art style of the SNES launch title F-Zero was reminiscent of superhero comic books. In fact, Captain Falcon's Falcon Punch would fit perfectly in any comic featuring onomatopoeia.

Toxic Fandoms

Even Groundskeeper Willie knows that the Street Fighter fandom has become very toxic. But he wouldn't like it if Principal Seymour Skinner calls Street Fighter fans a contentious people and would threaten Principal Skinner by saying that Ryu will hurl a Shinku Hadoken in his face for saying such words.

The Simpsons © FOX.

Rare Gems from the Bargain Bin

Author's Note: All copyrights for the items featured in this comic go to their respective owners.

While Dragon's Lair was ported to multiple platforms, it was also available as an interactive game for the DVD Player. Yet, almost nobody who owns a DVD Player bothers to get the game, which would make this item a good find if you can find one in a bargain bin, that is.

The Su Chi Pai OVA was originally below average at best when it first came out, but the passage of time has its way of vindicating history, by having Jaleco fans search for a DVD copy of the Su Chi Pai OVA. The Tekken Motion Picture from 1998 was actually good, and it was better than the live action Tekken Movie. And for those who are looking for DVDs of both OVAs, you might find them as rare items in a bargain bin.

Recently, Wii Party and Wii Party U have been getting a nostalgic resurgence through multiple videos posted on YouTube. The Wii Party series was not destined to be the next Mario Party, but it was better than Mario Party in several ways almost no one took note of. It's a huge shame that Wii Party's lifetime sales are less than Nintendo Switch Sports sales figures as at May 2023. Wii Party U's sales figures ended up doing worse than Wii Music, which was a huge shame. No wonder Nintendo started relegating Miis to the sidelines. Maybe they should stop disrespecting their loyal customers if they want to survive...

If you think Soldam was an Arcade exclusive title, then you have not heard of the Game Boy port of Soldam. This Game Boy game would be very hard to find inside the bargain bin, and even if you find one copy, it would be a very expensive item, even if its price tag has a 90% discount on it.

F-Zero GP Legend has to be the last F-Zero game in the series before F-Zero 99, if you do not count the Japan-only F-Zero Climax. Of course the Game Boy Advance F-Zero GP Legend is a game worth getting for any GameCube owner who still has the GameCube's Game Boy Player.

Reactions to an Endgame Aftermath

Accept it, Jenova. Your dark plans would be far too extreme for a malevolent purple head who tried to take over Sony, which is why he will never allow you to be part of his army. Also, that purple head would rather sign a peace agreement with Master and Crazy Hands.

Remember when I made a comic about how Kazuya's Quest would end? While none of the predictions that I made came true, it ended with Sephiroth getting defeated by Kazuya and Kirby. To add insult to injury, Sephiroth's army disbanded, headed for home and called the Bringer of Despair a loser. Now Professor Hojo is going to hate himself even more than he normally would because he is going to end up being a laughing stock in addition to being a worse father than Kazuya's father Heihachi. As for Jenova, she would not take Sephiroth's defeat and humiliation at the hands of Kazuya and Kirby very lightly. But she can do nothing about it because even if she decides to join forces with Polygon Man, that purple head would not allow her to be part of his army. Perhaps it's because being an Eldritch Abomination, she is uglier than even the Chimera from Sony's Resistance franchise, and the Chimera are ugly aliens.

P.S. Jenova rarely talks. But when she did, she taunted Cloud by saying "Because, you are... a puppet".

Final Fantasy VII © Square Enix.

Update: Unfortunately for Jenova, she did not get any chance to destroy the Smash House because Wooden Plank Studios had its final curtain call on 9 July 2024. However, Sephiroth defeated Galeem and Tabuu in the very last Wooden Plank Studios story arc, where Tabuu and Galeem teamed up and organized a battle royale. So technically, Jenova did have the last laugh because she did win against Tabuu and Galeem at the end.

A Father worse than Heihachi Mishima

It's no secret that Professor Hojo is the evil genius behind Sephiroth because Professor Hojo is Sephiroth's father. This means Professor Hojo would definitely be a bad father worse than Heihachi Mishima. Imagine if Heihachi's son Kazuya, who has a huge dislike of fathers, found out Professor Hojo was Sephiroth's father...

Final Fantasy VII © Square Enix.

Slapping Denial

Hands grabbing Jenova's appendage and telling her enough, from left to right: Yuna (Final Fantasy X), Kazuya Mishima (Tekken), Doom Slayer (Doom), Goku (Dragon Ball Z), Needles Kane (Twisted Metal).

In the penultimate boss battle of Final Fantasy VII, Jenova slaps her enemies with her appendages, and she slaps hard. That's why in this comic, various characters are grabbing the appendage of this evil matriarch responsible for masterminding all of Sephiroth's villainy.

I can understand that Yuna is from a different Final Fantasy game, but she made her stance crystal clear that she stands with Cloud and his friends against Sephiroth, Professor Hojo and Jenova.

If Kazuya found out that Professor Hojo, like Jenova, was also another mastermind behind Sephiroth's villainy, in addition to the mad genius being a terrible father who could be worse than Kazuya's father Heihachi Mishima, Kazuya is going to get Professor Hojo dead for sure...

Doom Slayer would mistake Jenova for a Cacodemon from the Doom series. Goku prefers to punish villains such as Jenova by teaching them the error of their ways, and when that doesn't succeed, he will have to wipe them off from the face of the planet.

Needles Kane would just be somebody who suspects that Jenova was colluding with the malevolent purple head responsible for PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale.

Dragon Longswords United

Characters wielding Old School RuneScape Dragon Longswords featured from left to right starting with the top row:

Row 1: Sakura Kinomoto (Crystal Feather Dress) (Cardcaptor Sakura), Ling Xiaoyu (Tekken), Lemming (Lemmings), Dirk the Daring (Dragon's Lair), Rit (Rod Land, Soldam).

Row 2: Tyris Flare (Golden Axe), Lip (Panel de Pon), Nessa (Pokemon Sword and Shield), Akira Yuki (Virtua Fighter 5 Attire) (Virtua Fighter), Ryo Sakazaki (The King of Fighters XV Attire) (The King of Fighters).

Row 3: Ripple (Magical Chase), Suchie-Pai (Suchie-Pai), Ptolemy (The Fairyland Story), Klonoa (Klonoa), Wynn (Mystery of Atlantis).

This comic was made to make certain characters look awesome if they wielded RuneScape's Dragon Longswords. Also, the characters featured in this comic need to rise up in united arms against the injustices plaguing the Earth. Perhaps the Earth would have been a better place by now if we had taken any action against the injustices tormenting the Earth a few decades ago...

Stomp The Jerk 2

Characters stomping Sephiroth on his back, from left to right, starting with the top row:

Row 1: Kazuya Mishima (Tekken), Jin Kazama (Tekken), Akira Yuki (Virtua Fighter).

Row 2: Ryo Sakazaki (The King of Fighters), Yuko (Valis), Wynn (Mystery of Atlantis).

It's time to give Sephiroth a humiliation conga he will never forget as punishment for all his villainy, just like how Gary Oak was given a humiliation conga for bullying Ash Ketchum, and justice will be delivered my way.

If there is anything Sephiroth will regret, it would be running afoul of the Mishima Clan and the curse they have been synonymous with throughout the history of the Tekken franchise. Sephiroth will be as good as dead just like Kazuya's father Heihachi Mishima because while Kazuya perished at the hands of Heihachi before, G Corporation resurrected Kazuya, and he came back stronger than before. This proved crucial in Kazuya's final showdown with Heihachi in Tekken 7, where Kazuya finally defeated (and killed) Heihachi.

If there is anybody who will get Kazuya dead and ultimately end the curse of the Mishima Clan, it will be Kazuya's son Jin Kazama. This hero is determined to eliminate the biggest, baddest villains, even if it means starting a global war. Therefore, no villain, not even a serial killer like Sephiroth, is safe from Jin Kazama and his Iron Fist of Justice.

If there is any reason for Sega to be angry with Square Enix, it's because Square Enix's allegiance to Sony contributed to Sega's exit from hardware production. For all we know, Jenova could have been colluding with a malevolent purple polygonal head who seeks to destroy the entire PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale roster and become the sole mascot of PlayStation as payback for being rejected by Ken Kutaragi. That's why Virtua Fighter's Akira Yuki is stomping Sephiroth. Talk about payback for Sega being kicked out of hardware production by Sony, and Square Enix was largely to blame for Sega's exit.

Remember when SNK and Square Enix had a copyright dispute? Well, SNK can vent their anger on Square Enix by having Ryo Sakazaki, the leader of the Art of Fighting Team from The King of Fighters series, stomp on Sephiroth.

As for Yuko and Wynn, these two obscure characters get to vent their anger on Sephiroth, just like how they vented their anger on Gary Oak in the previous stomping comic, and all in the name of justice.

If you want to know why the shirtless Sephiroth is being stomped in this comic is because this is a reference to Sephiroth being in that alternate costume when he got slashed to death by Cloud's Omnislash at the end of Final Fantasy VII.

Predictions for an Endgame Scenario

Author's Note: Currently, as at the time of this comic being published, Wooden Plank Studios' Kazuya Story Arc is still ongoing.

It all started with Sephiroth poisoning his guests at the E3 Dinner Party. Tekken's Kazuya Mishima managed to find Incineroar and Kirby still alive. However, he had to begin his quest to revive everyone who perished at the E3 Dinner Party. Why Sephiroth poisoned everyone remains unclear. However, it may have something to do with Sony not being at E3 2021. This could mean that the mastermind behind Sephiroth's mass poisoning was not only his mother Jenova, who is not quite dead despite being technically dead for thousands of years since the destruction of the Cetra, but Sony, the creators and owners of the PlayStation brand, could possibly have been involved in what appears to be an anti-Nintendo plot as well as an anti-Microsoft plot.

We have not reached the point where any of these endgame scenarios will happen yet. But the one where Sephiroth pulls a Tim Curry by quoting Cherdenko's quote of escaping his enemies, will reveal that Sony is the one place that hasn't been corrupted by Nintendo's tripe. All three possible endgame scenarios will involve the PlayStation characters turning their weapons against Sephiroth because he hurt the Sackboy's feelings.

It's possible Polygon Man was the true mastermind behind all of this. He disliked E3 ever since he was rejected by PlayStation creator Ken Kutaragi at E3 1995.

Update: None of my predictions were correct, but there was an Avengers: Endgame-style final battle between Kazuya's army and Sephiroth's army, and Kazuya's army emerged victorious because Kirby disabled Sephiroth's Jenova Cells with a Friend Heart, allowing Cloud and Joker to land a coup de grace on him. Once Sephiroth felt that could not stand punching Pichu, his army of villains disbanded, and he had to be Kazuya's prisoner. As for Jenova and Polygon Man, neither one showed up because they prefer to keep to the sidelines. It makes sense for Jenova because she was technically dead for thousands of years since the extinction of the Cetra people. In Polygon Man's case, he keeps to the sidelines even when you face him in the Boss Arena. The most the malevolent head could do is transform into stage hazards or slam on you like a Thwomp, which leaves him vulnerable to attack.

Now that Kazuya's Quest is over, Kazuya begins a new quest in the Paldea Region. Congratulations to Wooden Plank Studios for creating one of the longest story arcs in webcomic history!