Still Rejected After 25 Years

Can you believe it's been 25 years since Waluigi made his debut in Mario Tennis? Unfortunately for this purple guy, all he gets is nothing but rejection. Whether it's getting his very own game, or his own set of microgames in the WarioWare series, or even a playable character slot in the Super Smash Bros series, Waluigi is never getting any of them.

No wonder the sad cat that promised not to cry is weeping. Looks like Waluigi is destined to be the eternal reject who can only wallow in self-pity until the end of time itself...

Programmed Sentience

R.O.B. the NES Robot was initially an additional accessory for the NES specially designed for Gyromite and Stack-Up, and was therefore not sentient. However, all of that changed with the release of Mario Kart DS in 2005. Nintendo had to reprogram it to have sentience in order to make it a playable character in that handheld racing game. The sentience R.O.B. was programmed with carried on into the Super Smash Bros series starting with Super Smash Bros Brawl. Not bad for a robotic accessory that was specially designed for playing two NES games.

Sobbing Ice Climbers

Author's Note: Today marks the 40th Anniversary of the NES game Ice Climber. Unfortunately for the Ice Climbers, Nintendo has no intention to come up with a new Ice Climbers game. Not even one for the Nintendo Switch 2. Talk about disappointment...

In the NES game Ice Climber, the player character sob when he/she gets No Bonus in the Bonus Level. This became the Ice Climbers' losing pose in the Super Smash Bros series since Melee. It may be harsh, but Nintendo did try to make the Ice Climbers faithful to the game they originated from.

Extremely Fatal Mistake 2

Let's face it. Masahiro Sakurai's no non-video game characters allowed policy did more good for the Smash community because Puella Magi Madoka Magica is too cruel. How cruel, you say? Magical girls becoming the witches that Kyubey instructed them to destroy because their Soul Gems got corrupted?!? If that isn't cruel, then what is? That's why Madoka Kaname had to erase the witches in order to make Kyubey upset, but she ended up erasing her very existence as well...

Magical Girl Smash Argument

Some people think a crybaby like Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon should be in Super Smash Bros because she can punish villains such as Bowser, Ganondorf and Ridley in the name of the Moon. Others think Madoka Kaname from Puella Magi Madoka Magica would be the best magical girl for Smash because she could right the wrongs caused by Kyubey. But she erased her own existence in the process. Deep inside, however, the best magical girl for Smash has to be Sakura Kinomoto from Cardcaptor Sakura. She could use her magic staff as a melee weapon, meaning she can go toe to toe against Mario, Donkey Kong, Kirby and Pikachu to name a few.

Cause and Defect

Author's Note: This comic was made using the Gru's Plan meme from Despicable Me. Also, credits to Awkward Zombie for this comic's title name.

I'm very sure if Gary Oak dies, Waluigi will end up becoming playable in the Super Smash Bros series, and he could end up dominating Smash. Maybe #JusticeForAshKetchum wasn't a good idea after all because Ash Ketchum's namesake Satoshi Tajiri was diagnosed with a variation of autism named after somebody who gave autistic children over to the Nazis to be euthanised.

Despicable Me © Universal Pictures/Illumination Studios.

Justice for Magical Girls

Puella Magi Madoka Magica has done a huge disservice to Magical Girl Anime as a whole. The real culprit behind it, however, is Kyubey. He's the one who needs to be punished for all the wrongs he did to Magical Girl Anime by being given the death sentence. Blondette says that Kyubey should be run over with a motorized vehicle, with her choice being an Alfa Romeo. Brunetta and Sabriel would like to slash Kyubey with a battleaxe. Turquoise, Amethyst and Magenta would prefer to hurl a Molotov Cocktail in Kyubey's face. But I would prefer to have Kyubey mutilated with a battleaxe before running him over with an Alfa Romeo and burning his crushed corpse by hurling a Molotov Cocktail at him. How's that for brutality in the name of justice?

Another reason magical girls need justice is because of the lack of magical girls in the Super Smash Bros series. Other than the Lip, Ashley and Veronica Outfits for Mii Swordfighters, Magical Girls do not have any representation in the Super Smash Bros series at all. Perhaps this will all change in Super Smash Bros 6. However, Puella Magi Madoka Magica may have made Nintendo think twice. Perhaps the horrors found in Puella Magi Madoka Magica were one of the reasons Masahiro Sakurai prohibited non-video game characters from taking part in the Super Smash Bros series. He knows better than to include anything that is too horrific for Nintendo's customers.

Angry Sakura, Happy Sakura

Blame Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle for making Masahiro Sakurai and Nintendo disallow characters who did not originate from video games.

You do know that Sakura Kinomoto from Cardcaptor Sakura is ineligible for Nintendo's Super Smash Bros, but I do wish she was eligible. After all, she made a cameo in the Pokemon TV series, and she also had her own edition Game Boy Color.

Then again, due to the events of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle being responsible for Sakura Kinomoto's magical girl escapades, it would be better for Sakura Kinomoto to stay out of the Super Smash Bros series because Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is far more confusing than Kingdom Hearts. And let's not get started on Fei Wong Reed's Death Seal...

Cardcaptor Sakura © CLAMP/Kodansha.

25 Years of Smash

Can you believe it? 25 years? The original Super Smash Bros for the Nintendo 64 turns 25 today?!? If you had memories of this game, then you really have nostalgia.

What started out as a project called "Dragon King: The Fighting Game" became a huge sensation. It had one type of playable character, but that unnamed character became the basis for Captain Falcon's moveset in the Super Smash Bros games. Even the running gag involving Team Rocket getting defeated by being sent blasting off again in the Pokemon TV series was incorporated into the Super Smash Bros games as the Star KO death animation.

If the Super Smash Bros series was a war, it would have lasted longer than the two World Wars combined. Some people claim that the war that began when Super Smash Bros was first released a few months after the launch of Mario Party was the result of Mario Party's launch. Maybe that's why Mario Party was nicknamed "The Destroyer of Friendships". The World of Nintendo was plunged into war as a result of the very first Mario Party game, and that war has grown bigger since then. The rest, as they say, is history.

Happy 25th Anniversary, Super Smash Bros! Here's to another 25 years!

Nintendo games and characters © Nintendo.

Too Horrific For Smash

Credits to SrGrafo for providing the template for this comic.

There's always a valid reason non-video game characters should not be in the Super Smash Bros series (Aside from the series being a celebration of video game history). Puella Magi Madoka Magica is clearly not suitable for Nintendo territory because of all the brutality found in the twelve episodes of the anime series. But if that was not enough, Sailor Moon was marketed as one of those stereotypical magical girl anime shows, when in reality, it is far darker than you think. Sailor Moon contains levels of incest worse than Fire Emblem, grotesque villains so ugly they could give Eldritch Abomination-type Final Fantasy villains such as Jenova and Ultimecia a good run for their money, and let's not talk about Sailor Galaxia, because she came close to ending all life in the universe, and she came a lot closer to achieving that than any Dragon Ball Z villain. With that said, Masahiro Sakurai has good reasons to be adamant with his decisions, and it's for the good of everyone.

A Showdown with no Second Face-off

Back in 2001, during National Day, Pokemon and Cardcaptor Sakura had a face-off. No, it did not have them fight each other. Rather, it was a TV marathon. And when it ended, viewers such as myself were left wishing that one day, Ash Ketchum and Sakura Kinomoto will face each other again in the future. Unfortunately, it didn't happen because neither character was eligible for Nintendo's Super Smash Bros series due to licensing issues. Maybe Masahiro Sakurai knew about the licensing issues concerning Tatsunoko vs Capcom, which is why he enforced a "no non-video game characters allowed" policy for the Super Smash Bros series. But if licensing issues are not the reason, then the lore of both franchises will be the reason. Pokemon was always considered a very dangerous series because of backstories having wars in them, while Sakura Kinomoto's magical girl escapades were only made possible due to the dark events of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle had a stabbing incident where it turns out the Sakura that got stabbed was a clone. For all we know, the real reason Ash never grows old was because Pokemon had been all just a dream from a dying, mentally ill Ash living in a mundane world all along. Even then, the producers do not want to mention that he was a Zainichi Korean as well.

All in all, we will have to accept the fact that we cannot have nice things...

Friendship Killers

If Nintendo's broken copyright system isn't bad enough to make you boycott them, then the friendships that they have destroyed since the launch of the very first Mario Party game will surely make you wished you had boycotted them when you had the chance to do so.

If the Super Smash Bros series was a war, it would have been a war that lasted longer than the two World Wars combined. Not to mention that Super Smash Bros came out over a month after the first Mario Party game was released, and that was only the Japanese version. In fact, when Mario Party was released in Western markets, it started destroying friendships and family fun. If that was not enough, Mario Party got involved in a hand injury controversy so bad that the game was never to be re-released on the Virtual Console's N64 emulators for both Wii and Wii U, and its re-release had to wait until months after the Nintendo Switch Online's N64 emulator went live. Talk about creating a product so sinister that it was denied of a re-release for over two decades...

If there was any item that Mario Kart players hate most, it's the blue spiny shell. It always targets whoever is in first place, essentially destroying their lead. Starting from Mario Kart 7 onwards, it started knocking others who were not the intended target, and it became an item in Super Smash Bros starting from the 3DS and Wii U versions.

Even on non-video game media like card games and board games, Nintendo is not safe from being antagonized for destroying friendships. UNO was notorious for ruining friendships in many ways, and so did Monopoly. Both UNO and Monopoly had Nintendo versions as well. Well played, Nintendo. You just made lots of enemies through ruining friendships and carrying out legal actions against intellectual property piracy.

Nintendo games and characters © Nintendo.

The Best Way to give Ash and Waluigi Justice

The Ash Ketchum Arc of the Pokemon TV series has officially ended. However, its conclusion left us with several disappointments. Especially when Gary Oak and Ritchie did not apologize for all the wrongs they did to Ash "Satoshi" Ketchum. However, Studio OLM deliberately chose not to deliver justice for Ash Ketchum, for giving Gary and Ritchie any kind of comeuppance will offend their respective namesakes Shigeru Miyamoto and Hiroshi Yamauchi, the latter having died in 2013.

Even if Nintendo, Game Freak, The Pokemon Company, ShoPro and Studio OLM do not want to give Gary Oak and Ritchie any comeuppance whatsoever because it will be a huge insult to Shigeru Miyamoto and Hiroshi Yamauchi, I would give Gary Oak and Ritchie a brutal death by hurling a Molotov Cocktail and a Bob-omb at their faces if I had to be in a room with them and Waluigi. Therefore, I am sparing Waluigi so that he can become playable in a future Super Smash Bros title. Talk about giving Ash Ketchum and Waluigi the justice that had eluded them for years...

Then again, the biggest disappointment was that there was no special message from Ash Ketchum's namesake Satoshi Tajiri regarding the conclusion of the Ash Ketchum Arc. This means Ash Ketchum and his namesake Satoshi Tajiri are even more of outsiders than Waluigi and his designer Fumihide Aoki as far as Nintendo is concerned.

#AshKetchumForSmash

On the 11th of November, 2022, Ash Ketchum defeated Galar's Regional Champion Leon, potentially bringing a 25-year odyssey to a possible poetic end. With the anime industry in turmoil in recent years, there has been nothing of an anime followup focusing on the Paldea Region because Studio OLM, the studio behind the Pokemon anime from the very beginning, was not spared from the turmoil either. This could mean the Pokemon anime is reaching the end of the road. If that is true, the theories of Pokemon being all just a dream from a dying Ash Ketchum, as well as becoming a Pokemon Master is the moment right before you die, will possibly be proven correct. Let's just hope Ash Ketchum does not have a Death Seal similar to the one placed inside Princess Sakura by Fei Wong Reed...

If there was anybody who said that Ash Ketchum will become Pokemon World Champion before Waluigi becomes a playable character in a Super Smash Bros title, that person just got proven correct...

With all that said, Ash Ketchum being playable in Super Smash Bros might not become a reality, much to my disappointment, because I wanted him to go toe to toe against Nintendo's other characters, including Mario, Donkey Kong, Kirby and perhaps third-party characters such as the Street Fighter duo of Ryu and Ken. But the biggest disappointment in my opinion will be that Ash Ketchum will never be able to go toe to toe against Sakura Kinomoto because that was what I was wishing for back in 2001.

All in all, Congratulations, Ash Ketchum! You have finally become the very best that no one ever was!

Update: The Ash Ketchum Arc has officially ended, and it ended with "Next Time, A New Beginning". We do not know if he will reappear in Pokemon Horizons in any way possible, nor will he ever appear in a future Super Smash Bros title. At least he did not possess a Death Seal. In other words, Pokemon Horizons will be a new beginning indeed...

Respecting Sakurai's Policies

Masahiro Sakurai stated that Super Smash Bros was designed to be from the very first entry in the series, a celebration of Nintendo's video game history. Non-video game characters are therefore not allowed. But there may be reasons that support Masahiro Sakurai's decision. Reasons related to lore, that is.

You may think Sailor Moon cannot join Smash due to the possibility of a panty shot overdose, but that is not the real reason. The real reason is that Sailor Moon has to face villains so ghastly they're worse than the biggest, baddest villains Nintendo has to offer. What's more, Sailor Moon was revealed to be Princess Serenity, which explains why she does not want to engage in mortal combat against her enemies. Then there's Sakura Kinomoto's magical girl escapades. It turns out that this was because of the dark events of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle chapter 200, where Fei Wong Reed's death seal devoured Princess Sakura, resulting in a series of events leading to Clow Reed having to split into two personalities. There are even claims that Akiho from Cardcaptor Sakura's Clear Card Arc has something to do with Clone Sakura. With all that said, Nintendo decided that Lip the Flower Fairy from Panel de Pon should only be a Mii Swordfighter costume in Super Smash Bros Ultimate, and Lip was the closest Nintendo has to a proper magical girl.

At the end of the day, magical girl lore is clearly not compatible with everything Super Smash Bros is all about. Therefore, we should respect Masahiro Sakurai's policies that disallow non-video game characters from taking part in Super Smash Bros. Even Sony's PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale do not allow non-video game characters from taking part in the PlayStation-themed dueling tournament, possibly for the same lore-related reasons. At the end of the day, if licensing issues was not the reason, then it has to be the lore that poses a big problem, because lore plays a huge part in every major franchise, and if the lore is too ghastly, then it is definitely not allowed in dueling tournaments.

Thrown Weapons

Throwing weapons featured in this comic: Throwing axe (Castlevania), lance-shaped javelin (Ghosts'n Goblins), dagger (Castlevania, Ghosts'n Goblins), stick grenade (Metal Slug), large shuriken (Ninja Gaiden), pitfall seed (Animal Crossing).

Axes are a common sub-weapon in Castlevania, and this is showcased in Super Smash Bros Ultimate by Simon and Richter as their neutral special move.

A lance-shaped javelin would be a silly weapon, especially in Ghosts'n Goblins. Yet Sir Arthur hurls them at the bad guys without giving a thought about how silly the weapon looks. At least it's not as silly as the breakable armor Sir Arthur wears.

Daggers as a throwing weapon are very common, and are featured as weapons in Castlevania and Ghosts'n Goblins, though daggers are more popular in the latter.

Stick grenades are a powerful alternative weapon in Metal Slug available to the player from the start.

Ryu Hayabusa is known for throwing shurikens in the NES Ninja Gaiden, including large shurikens.

The pitfall seed from Animal Crossing can be thrown at opponents to ground them in the Super Smash Bros series.

In general, throwing weapons have been a staple feature throughout video game history.

Video Game Television

Credits to Norwegian RuneScape YouTuber Will Miss It for the idea for this comic.

If only there were better television shows based on video games, then only we would stop taking our TV shows for granted, including TV shows based on video games.

Here are some good TV shows based on video games that do not exist but we wished they existed:

Breaking Bubsy

Based on: Breaking Bad

Bubsy struggles to survive in a society that totally dislikes him while everyone makes his life miserable.

Everybody Hates Bubsy

Based on: Everybody Hates Chris

Similar to Breaking Bubsy, but with people who dislike Bubsy out to get him dead.

Kusoge Kombat

Based on: The Mortal Kombat cartoon

Kusoge game characters such as Wynn from Mystery of Atlantis, Gonbe and Tago from Ikki, and Spelunker, fight to the bitter end against each other for their personal survival.

So You Think You Can Fight

Based on: So You Think You Can Dance

Basically a combat-themed version of So You Think You Can Dance. Contestants have to beat up various objects such as a sandbag.

The Kloffice

Based on: The Office

Let's face it. The Kloffice will be the closest thing Klonoa will ever have to having a white-collar job, and Isabelle from Animal Crossing could just be one of his co-workers.

Last Noob Standing

Based on: Last Man Standing

The weakest characters in video game history battle each other to the death. In this case, Dan Hibiki from Street Fighter emerged victorious with Bubsy and a RuneScape Noob laying dead on the floor. Enjoy your moment of victory while you can, Dan Hibiki. You will still be considered very low in the Street Fighter character rankings list.

Whose Ability Is It Anyway

Based on: Whose Line Is It Anyway

Whose Line Is It Anyway features multiple different games performed by the performers. One of the games performed by the performers is Foreign Film Dub. In video games, cutscenes are basically the equivalent of film, which is why Foreign Cutscene Dub is one of the games performed in Whose Ability Is It Anyway.

Lemmings Invasion

Based on: Rabbids Invasion

While Rabbids Invasion revolves around the Rabbids coming to our society, Lemmings Invasion revolves around the Lemmings coming to our society. At least the Lemmings will be better than the Rabbids, assuming the Lemmings do not self-destruct...

Mii Vs Food

Based on: Man Vs Food

A Mii wearing a chef hat arms himself with a kitchen knife to slice his way through various food-based enemies, including Mr Hot Dog, Mr Egg and Mr Pickle from BurgerTime.

The Browser Wars

This show is all about Internet web browsers fighting a long war against each other. The various browsers warring against each other include Internet Explorer, Microsoft Edge, Mozilla Firefox and Google Chrome.

Super Smash Bros Supercade Smackdown

Based on: Saturday Supercade

Remember Saturday Supercade? Well, imagine if Super Smash Bros had a TV series, it would aim to relive the glory days of Saturday Supercade. This is a show we would definitely watch.

Please be mindful that this comic was designed before Microsoft announced the end of support for Internet Explorer.

Villager's Rejected Losing Animation

Yes, the Animal Crossing Player Villager cries in the Animal Crossing games starting from Wild World when emotions were introduced to the series. The sorrow emotion became their losing animation in Mario Kart 8 as well as Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. However, this should also have been their losing animation in the Super Smash Bros games as well, similar to Ice Climbers sobbing when they lose being a reference to the No Bonus screen in Ice Climber. Then again, having Villager cry when he or she loses in Smash Bros will reflect badly on the Animal Crossing series...

Nintendo games and characters © Nintendo.

Legitimate Reasons

Masahiro Sakurai said that Super Smash Bros should remain a celebration of Nintendo's video game history, which also happens to include third-party video games that appeared on Nintendo platforms before, meaning that non-video game characters are not allowed at all. However, there is another reason non-video game characters are not allowed in Nintendo's crossover dueling tournament series, and it has something to do with universal scale destruction of all life, and possibly worse than what Galeem or Dharkon is capable of.

While Pokemon's Team Galactic was considered as the most sinister criminal syndicate in the history of the Pokemon series, due to their evil plan to destroy the universe and recreating it in their image, their level of success would, however, be nowhere near that of Sailor Moon's Sailor Galaxia, who could have brought all life in the universe to an end, and actually came way closer to accomplishing that than not only Team Galactic, but also just about any Dragon Ball Z villain you can think of. Even if Team Galactic acquired Giratina, who was supposed to be based on the fallen angels from the Bible, Team Galactic would still be nowhere near Sailor Galaxia's level. Compared to Tabuu, Galeem or Dharkon, many of Sailor Moon's enemies are incorporeal, and would be way harder to defeat than these three bosses.

For those who wonder where the stabbing incident that "killed" Princess Sakura at the end of Tsubasa Shunraiki came from, it was actually extracted from chapter 178 of the Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle manga. The manga's level of violence is so terrible it would actually make the Pokemon Adventures manga, which contains the darkest version of the Pokemon World known to exist in any official Pokemon canon, not as dark as you think. And that is excluding chapter 200 of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, where Princess Sakura was devoured by a death seal placed on her by Fei Wong Reed. The most tragic part of it was that Princess Sakura had no idea that Fei Wong Reed placed a death seal on her, and she was nowhere near as dumb as Red or Ash Ketchum, both of whom are notoriously dumb protagonists, and yet, Red is in Smash.

When there are anime characters who have the ability to destroy entire planets, or even the entire universe, it's better that Super Smash Bros should remain a video game characters only tournament. Therefore, we should respect Masahiro Sakurai's policies, if it means not having anybody far more destructive than Galeem or Dharkon, both of whom could have possibly killed billions of characters, become a playable character. Otherwise, the game would become almost unplayable...

Future Smash Bros Alternate Costumes

When it comes to wacky costumes that could be added into the Super Smash Bros series as alternate costumes, Nintendo is sitting on a gold mine filled with them. The biggest problem is that the costumes needed to be analyzed for suitability before they get approved.

Mario Kart Tour has already gotten some great alternate costumes that could be added into Smash. Nintendo can always look into them, as well as obscure sources such as the Captain N comics, or they can give another look at the rejected alternate costumes to give them another chance to be added into Smash in the future.

Nintendo characters and games © Nintendo.