More Reclusive Than Toriyama

Author's Note: This comic is my lawyer-friendly version of the "Change My Mind" meme. Also, the background used is a chroma key green screen.

Ever wondered why Pokemon creator Satoshi Tajiri has been absent from every single Pokemon Direct? If you said Satoshi Tajiri is more reclusive than Akira Toriyama, you are correct. While Akira Toriyama is known for being reclusive, Satoshi Tajiri may have been more reclusive than the Dragon Ball author.

The Disappointing Lack of Justice

The lack of harmony between the upper class and the lower class in Japanese animation and comics has been a serious issue. We have seen this in Dragon Ball Z, where Vegeta the Prince of the Saiyans has often looked down on the lowly Son Goku. This recurring problem also surfaced in Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh. To make matters worse, when it's the lower class getting bullied by the upper class, nobody stands up for the victims of such bullying. This could explain why the late Takeshi Shudo wanted Pokemon to have a depressing series finale, where the entire Pokemon series turned out to be the dying dream of a mentally ill Ash Ketchum. Do you know why? Because Japanese society rarely believes in the good name of justice. That is why bullying has been one of the biggest problems in Japanese animation (Sailor Moon author Naoko Takeuchi was a bullying victim).

This disappointing lack of justice could be the reason some people have all but given up on Japanese animation and comics. Such people have decided to give up because they believe in the good name of justice, and they were left disappointed. Disillusionment is nothing new, but the lack of justice in Japanese animation and comics has made such disillusionment even more justifiable.

Execution by Obliteration

Author's Note: All copyrights for the images in this comic go to their respective owners.

Remember the times when Dragon Ball Z's Goku obliterated baddies with his Kamehameha? Well, he would have obliterated Bubsy, Awesome Possum and Tingle with a Kamehameha just to appease the people who hate these guys.

Slapping Denial

Hands grabbing Jenova's appendage and telling her enough, from left to right: Yuna (Final Fantasy X), Kazuya Mishima (Tekken), Doom Slayer (Doom), Goku (Dragon Ball Z), Needles Kane (Twisted Metal).

In the penultimate boss battle of Final Fantasy VII, Jenova slaps her enemies with her appendages, and she slaps hard. That's why in this comic, various characters are grabbing the appendage of this evil matriarch responsible for masterminding all of Sephiroth's villainy.

I can understand that Yuna is from a different Final Fantasy game, but she made her stance crystal clear that she stands with Cloud and his friends against Sephiroth, Professor Hojo and Jenova.

If Kazuya found out that Professor Hojo, like Jenova, was also another mastermind behind Sephiroth's villainy, in addition to the mad genius being a terrible father who could be worse than Kazuya's father Heihachi Mishima, Kazuya is going to get Professor Hojo dead for sure...

Doom Slayer would mistake Jenova for a Cacodemon from the Doom series. Goku prefers to punish villains such as Jenova by teaching them the error of their ways, and when that doesn't succeed, he will have to wipe them off from the face of the planet.

Needles Kane would just be somebody who suspects that Jenova was colluding with the malevolent purple head responsible for PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale.

Legitimate Reasons

Masahiro Sakurai said that Super Smash Bros should remain a celebration of Nintendo's video game history, which also happens to include third-party video games that appeared on Nintendo platforms before, meaning that non-video game characters are not allowed at all. However, there is another reason non-video game characters are not allowed in Nintendo's crossover dueling tournament series, and it has something to do with universal scale destruction of all life, and possibly worse than what Galeem or Dharkon is capable of.

While Pokemon's Team Galactic was considered as the most sinister criminal syndicate in the history of the Pokemon series, due to their evil plan to destroy the universe and recreating it in their image, their level of success would, however, be nowhere near that of Sailor Moon's Sailor Galaxia, who could have brought all life in the universe to an end, and actually came way closer to accomplishing that than not only Team Galactic, but also just about any Dragon Ball Z villain you can think of. Even if Team Galactic acquired Giratina, who was supposed to be based on the fallen angels from the Bible, Team Galactic would still be nowhere near Sailor Galaxia's level. Compared to Tabuu, Galeem or Dharkon, many of Sailor Moon's enemies are incorporeal, and would be way harder to defeat than these three bosses.

For those who wonder where the stabbing incident that "killed" Princess Sakura at the end of Tsubasa Shunraiki came from, it was actually extracted from chapter 178 of the Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle manga. The manga's level of violence is so terrible it would actually make the Pokemon Adventures manga, which contains the darkest version of the Pokemon World known to exist in any official Pokemon canon, not as dark as you think. And that is excluding chapter 200 of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, where Princess Sakura was devoured by a death seal placed on her by Fei Wong Reed. The most tragic part of it was that Princess Sakura had no idea that Fei Wong Reed placed a death seal on her, and she was nowhere near as dumb as Red or Ash Ketchum, both of whom are notoriously dumb protagonists, and yet, Red is in Smash.

When there are anime characters who have the ability to destroy entire planets, or even the entire universe, it's better that Super Smash Bros should remain a video game characters only tournament. Therefore, we should respect Masahiro Sakurai's policies, if it means not having anybody far more destructive than Galeem or Dharkon, both of whom could have possibly killed billions of characters, become a playable character. Otherwise, the game would become almost unplayable...

Sakurai Was Right!

For those who want Goku to be in Super Smash Bros, you have to accept the fact that he will never be in the game, if the Super Spirit Bomb disintegrating the nearly invincible Majin Buu was any indication. Goku would also be unsuitable for Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale for similar reasons. Therefore, we have to accept the fact that anime characters will never be in Super Smash Bros or Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale because anime characters will ruin everything for these dueling titles and what they are meant to be.

Maybe it has to do with some anime being too brutal and gory for their characters to be even included into Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale, which has characters from games that have gore in it...

I'm keeping an eye on you, Game Freak. Especially when there are people who want characters from the Pokemon anime, given that its main protagonist has below average intelligence, which could explain why he has not won any major Pokemon League.

Dragon Ball Z © Shueisha/Bird Studios.

Update: Ash Ketchum finally won Alola's Pokemon League. However, he will not be allowed in Smash Bros due to him not originating from a video game.