Close-Quarters Combat Flops

When it comes to close-quarters combat, Usagi and Kagome would suck at it. Usagi is a crybaby who does not want to hurt anybody, even after they became monsters due to getting corrupted by evil forces, while Kagome never gets involved in close-quarters combat despite her archery skills. In contrast, Sakura Kinomoto would use her magic wand as a melee weapon, while Link and Pit are capable of engaging their enemies in melee combat in addition to having excellent archery skills. If Usagi or Kagome were to fight someone like, say, Street Fighter's Chun-Li, they would stand no chance if Chun-Li got close enough to kick their face. Therefore, Usagi and Kagome would get rekt very easily when it comes to melee combat.

Sobbing Ice Climbers

Author's Note: Today marks the 40th Anniversary of the NES game Ice Climber. Unfortunately for the Ice Climbers, Nintendo has no intention to come up with a new Ice Climbers game. Not even one for the Nintendo Switch 2. Talk about disappointment...

In the NES game Ice Climber, the player character sob when he/she gets No Bonus in the Bonus Level. This became the Ice Climbers' losing pose in the Super Smash Bros series since Melee. It may be harsh, but Nintendo did try to make the Ice Climbers faithful to the game they originated from.

Nintendo Switch 2 Wishlist

The Nintendo Switch 2 needs to have some real games other than the new Mario Kart that we saw in the first Nintendo Switch 2 Trailer. Here are some games that I think should be on the Nintendo Switch 2.

In recent years, we have seen GameCube games get the HD remaster treatment. Wind Waker, Super Mario Sunshine, the first two Pikmin games and Metroid Prime are good examples of GameCube games getting the HD remaster treatment. However, I feel that HD remasters for Mario Kart Double Dash and Wario World are long overdue.

Speaking of a HD remaster of Wario World, there should also be a new "Waluigi Mode" that has a playable Waluigi in the game, just like how the Nintendo Switch version of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze had a new "Funky Mode" that features Funky Kong as a playable character.

If Super Smash Bros Ultimate were to get the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe treatment, it would have featured Decidueye and Ninjara as playable characters as well as having all the DLC features included. This would definitely be by default the Nintendo Switch 2's must-have game.

Nintendo games and characters © Nintendo.

Amico Wishlist

The Amico console was designed with bringing families together in mind. However, its future does not look bright at the moment. But that will not stop people from coming up with ideas for great games for the Amico. Here are just three games that I think would have been perfect for the Amico if the Amico were to finally see the light of market availability.

1. Soldam: Drop, Connect, Erase: This long-awaited sequel to Soldam was a launch title for the Nintendo Switch in Japan. It got ported over to the PlayStation 4 in 2019. Should this game starring the fairies Rit and Tam get ported over to the Amico, it would have been a fantastic must-have Amico game in the Japanese market, and probably one of the few Amico titles to have a magical girl in it.

2. Atari Karts HD Remake: Remember Atari Karts for the Atari Jaguar? While Atari Karts got re-released as part of the Atari 50 games compilation, a HD remake of this mediocre racing game is long overdue. If we were to get a HD remake of Atari Karts, it would fix everything wrong with the original, as well as add new characters to the character roster. Perhaps we could have Bubsy, Ultra Vortek's Volcana and Kasumi Ninja's Angus MacGreggor added to the character roster?

3. A Pizza Maker Game: There are so many pizza maker games out there that I cannot even count them. If the Amico was designed with bringing families together in mind, then a pizza maker game should be one of those family-friendly games featured on the Amico's games list.

Soldam: Drop, Connect, Erase © City Connection. Atari Karts © Atari.

Ganondorf Is Too Cruel...

If Ganondorf were to execute Tingle, he would have thrown Tingle into a poison gas chamber similar to the ones found in the Nazi Death Camps.

If you hate Tingle for being a nuisance, killing him would be the right solution. But imprisoning Tingle in a poison gas chamber is not the right way to execute Tingle because it would make you as bad as the Nazis. And if Tears of the Kingdom was any indication, Ganondorf would have been far worse than the Nazis...

Bondi Beach Swimwear

If there was one beach synonymous with summer in Australia, it has to be Bondi Beach. However, Bondi Beach isn't the only beach in Australia. There are many more other beaches in Australia, with the beaches in Gold Coast being the most notable ones.

No visit to any of Australia's beaches is complete without being dressed in swimwear. The strapless one-piece swimsuits from MapleStory's Cash Shop are a great choice, and so is the two-piece swimsuit worn by Arle in PuyoLympics. These swimsuits are also suitable for the Ice Bucket Challenge as well. That's why swimwear, Australian beaches and the Ice Bucket Challenge go hand in hand.

Arcade Letter S Variations

When the 8-Bit Arcade Font was conceived, many variations with different versions of various alphabet letters were conceived. One of the most notable variation differences was the letter S, in which there are two variations of the 8-Bit Arcade letter S in Rally-X. The letter S that distinguishes the Special Flag from the other yellow flags in Rally-X is uncommon in video games that use the 8-Bit Arcade Font. It is, however, the correct way to write the 8-Bit Arcade version of the letter S.

Nintendo Switch 2 Joy-Con Colours

The outer shell of the Nintendo Switch 2 Joy-Cons are available only in dark grey? Boring. We need new colours for the Nintendo Switch 2 Joy-Con outer shells, like a Mario Edition pair or a Wario Edition pair or a pair of gold Joy-Cons.

Four-Pointed Stars

In RuneScape, Saradomin's emblem is a four-pointed star. The four-pointed star is also the emblem of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) Alliance. This would mean the Saradominist faction is the RuneScape equivalent of NATO. But this uncanny similarity has yet to be officially confirmed by Jagex, and that's because Saradomin's four-pointed star came from the crown he's wearing while NATO's four-pointed star represents a compass that is keeping the Allies on the right road that is the path of peace.

No Delight in the Death of the Wicked

In Ezekiel 33:11, God states that he does not rejoice in the death of the wicked, but rather, he wishes for them to forsake their evil ways.

As much as I hate wicked evildoers so much that I wish for them to die a horrible death, I must remember that they are only human, and God does not want them to die of any cause of death without turning from their evil ways, even if these evildoers died without receiving any comeuppance whatsoever without turning from their evil ways. Should God resurrect them during the Great White Throne Judgement, they will come to the disappointing revelation that they are not burning in Hellfire, and such an idea had been one of the Devilish One's deceptions all along. These no-gooders, however, will end up in a Lake of Hellfire if they continue to reject God's forgiveness. Talk about meeting with a terrible fate...

IE SUCKS!

Unfortunately for Kirby, the pink amoeba found out the real reason why Internet users strongly dislike Internet Explorer.

Remember the infamous broken image icon? It has always been a huge nuisance to Internet users, regardless of its appearance.

Joy-Con Confusion

Remember the times when people tried to play 3DS games on their Nintendo DS? How about those times when people inserted a Wii U game disc into their Wiis? Well, Nintendo recently announced the Nintendo Switch 2, and its allure will be similar to its predecessor. However, it has the potential to repeat the mistakes that the 3DS and Wii U made during the early days of these two Nintendo consoles.

In order to avoid repeating the same mistakes made during the early days of the 3DS and Wii U, Nintendo needs to have greater clarity in regards to the Nintendo Switch 2. For example, the Nintendo Switch Joy-Cons will not be compatible with the Nintendo Switch 2 due to the size comparisons with the Nintendo Switch 2 Joy-Cons. While Nintendo salespeople think this will be sufficient in preventing customers from getting confused, I think Nintendo needs to have greater clarity in regards to the comparison between the Nintendo Switch 2 and its predecessor. That way, Nintendo can at least avoid repeating the same mistake they made during the Wii U's early days.

PlayStation Museum Articafts

If an actual PlayStation Museum does exist, it would definitely need items from PlayStation's 30-year history. Here are some PlayStation-related items that I believe would have belonged in a PlayStation Museum if such a place exists.

Crime Crackers and its sequel Crime Crackers 2 are forgotten Japan-only games for the PS1. It's a huge shame because Crime Crackers was the very first PS1 game developed and published by Sony Computer Entertainment.

Do you still remember the PS1 and PS2 demo discs that came with various PlayStation magazines? They would definitely be great artifacts for a PlayStation Museum.

If you have played PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale, you would have been familiar with Polygon Man. Before he became the final boss of PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale, he was the original advertiser of Sony's PlayStation. Therefore, PlayStation advertisement posters featuring Polygon Man belong in a PlayStation Museum.

Other artifacts that would be perfect for a PlayStation Museum would include a Gold PlayStation 2, a PocketStation and a Silver PlayStation 2 Slim. While the PocketStation would be an easier find, the Gold PS2 and Silver PS2 Slim are less common and therefore, are harder to find.

While there are lots of PlayStation-related items that will be featured in a PlayStation Museum, these eight items deserve more respect in my opinion. Especially the Crime Crackers games, the PS1 and PS2 demo discs, and the Polygon Man advertisement posters.

Anti-Xbox 360 Weapons

Back in 2007, the infamous Red Ring of Death terrorized anyone who possessed an XBox 360. People started blaming Microsoft for not taking responsibility for all the XBox 360s that got bricked by the Red Ring of Death. Microsoft's response was to redesign the XBox 360 to reduce the number of XBox 360s getting bricked by the Red Ring of Death, and concealed the true cause of the infamous Red Ring of Death as a result.

For this comic, I came up with the idea of using various weapons to destroy any XBox 360 that got bricked by the Red Ring of Death. We have the dynamite and the shotgun from Looney Tunes, both of which are weapons in the Worms series, as well as the Uzi from the Worms series. We also have a Leopard 2 Tank from Daisenryaku and War Thunder, a Steel Warhammer from Old School RuneScape, Rit's Magic Wand from Rod Land and Soldam, and a Sledgehammer from MapleStory. If I had any of these weapons, I would definitely use them to destroy an XBox 360 that got bricked by the Red Ring of Death.

TL;DR, Bill Gates must pay a terrible price for making millions of XBox 360 owners unduly upset.

By the way, the Leopard 2 Tank in this comic is the Leopard 2A4 variant.

Rejecting The Present, Embracing The Past

The Mercedes-Benz Citaro was not a terrible bus. It was, however, not as appealing as the Mercedes-Benz O405. Sayori from Doki Doki Literature Club knows that the future needs to be like the past, but better. That's why some branches of Christianity would prefer that we discard our Present-Tense Culture if we are to preserve the heritage that created our national identity.

The Big Problem With Tiny Shorts

Anyone who wants to wear Pyra's tiny shorts will have to wear a pair of panties that's smaller than the tiny shorts in order to avoid exposing their panties. Also, there are boyshorts panties that are roughly as small as the tiny shorts worn by Pyra.

Nokia Snake

Do you remember the Snake game that came with almost every Nokia cellphone? I do. And that cellphone game is now on our modern touch-screen cellphones.

The gameplay of Snake is very simple. The snake must avoid bumping into a wall or its body while eating randomly appearing food. To get a perfect game, the snake must fill up the entire screen, which is rather difficult, but it's actually possible.

Executed By Golden Hammer

Author's Note: All copyrights for the images in this comic go to their respective owners.

Do you wish to execute anybody by smashing their heads with the Golden Hammer from the NES game Wrecking Crew? Well, here are five characters I would execute if I had the Golden Hammer from Wrecking Crew.

Let's face it. Bubsy was not destined for the greatness that Mario, Sonic and even Klonoa are having right now. Not even when he is now in Atari's more respectable hands because Atari would probably want to put him out of his misery if they decide to ask Atari fans on what they should do to Bubsy.

If there was one character that deserves death even more than Bubsy, it has to be Awesome Possum. Tengen originally conceived him to be the poster boy of environmentalism. However, people who wish to protect the environment now know that environmentalism has failed in protecting the environment. Therefore, Awesome Possum deserves to die even more so than Bubsy.

If there was anyone to blame for all the misery Squidward Tentacles has to suffer, it's Squilliam Fancyson. Squilliam got rich from Squidward's misery, and this only serves to fuel the leftists' hatred for the aristocracy. If Squidward is to receive any justice, Squilliam needs to be punished, with the death sentence if possible.

For deceiving millions of teenage girls throughout history, Kyubey must die over 9000 times, and one of the best methods of executing Kyubey is to smash him with the Wrecking Crew Golden Hammer until his corpse is a bloody mess.

Throughout the history of the Street Fighter franchise, Dan Hibiki was always the very definition of mediocrity. If he was to perish from getting smashed by the Golden Hammer, almost nobody in the Street Fighter series or the Street Fighter fanbase will mourn his death.