Tuesday, 7 January 2025

Executed By Golden Hammer


Author's Note: All copyrights for the images in this comic go to their respective owners.

Do you wish to execute anybody by smashing their heads with the Golden Hammer from the NES game Wrecking Crew? Well, here are five characters I would execute if I had the Golden Hammer from Wrecking Crew.

Let's face it. Bubsy was not destined for the greatness that Mario, Sonic and even Klonoa are having right now. Not even when he is now in Atari's more respectable hands because Atari would probably want to put him out of his misery if they decide to ask Atari fans on what they should do to Bubsy.

If there was one character that deserves death even more than Bubsy, it has to be Awesome Possum. Tengen originally conceived him to be the poster boy of environmentalism. However, people who wish to protect the environment now know that environmentalism has failed in protecting the environment. Therefore, Awesome Possum deserves to die even more so than Bubsy.

If there was anyone to blame for all the misery Squidward Tentacles has to suffer, it's Squilliam Fancyson. Squilliam got rich from Squidward's misery, and this only serves to fuel the leftists' hatred for the aristocracy. If Squidward is to receive any justice, Squilliam needs to be punished, with the death sentence if possible.

For deceiving millions of teenage girls throughout history, Kyubey must die over 9000 times, and one of the best methods of executing Kyubey is to smash him with the Wrecking Crew Golden Hammer until his corpse is a bloody mess.

Throughout the history of the Street Fighter franchise, Dan Hibiki was always the very definition of mediocrity. If he was to perish from getting smashed by the Golden Hammer, almost nobody in the Street Fighter series or the Street Fighter fanbase will mourn his death.

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