Incorrect Date

As expected, 2021 was another Annus Horribilis that left us bitter and sour, so do not be too hopeful about 2022 because things will get a whole lot worse after Germany's stalemate elections...

Ever wondered why New Year's resolutions have failed most of the time? That's because nobody can begin anew in the dead of winter. In fact, the real start of the new year according to the Anno Mundi Calendar occurs on the Spring Equinox. Apparently, God did not begin His year in the dead of winter, meaning we should not have ditched the Anno Mundi Calendar. But Julius Caesar considered the Anno Mundi Calendar too imperfect, and so he designed a calendar that became the basis for the one many countries around the world use today. This, however, made humanity turn away from the true God, resulting in many terrible consequences, including the current pandemic, the climate change crisis, economic downturns and bloody conflicts. At the end of the day, we will all realize that turning away from the true God and ditching the Anno Mundi Calendar were terrible mistakes that brought calamities upon ourselves.

Perhaps our biggest New Year's resolution will be to turn back to God and start going back to using the Anno Mundi Calendar instead.

Duel Arena Closure

It's official. Jagex is phasing out the Duel Arena in both RuneScape and Old School RuneScape as part of the campaign to get rid of illegal activities such as gambling. However, the Duel Arena will be sorely missed by those who feel that Jagex is destroying pieces of RuneScape's history. Yes, the Duel Arena was a major part of RuneScape's history, but it's time has finally come amid stricter regulations against online gambling. In fact, illegal activities are a far greater concern than the preservation of a landmark that has become part of the game's history. In other words, sacrifices have to be made for new content to be added.

Kick The Ijiwaru 2

Characters kicking Waluigi's rear, from left to right: Pac-Man, Volcana (Ultra Vortek), Doremi Harukaze (Ojamajo Doremi), Akira Yuki (Virtua Fighter).

Another comic where people kick Waluigi's rear? And on top of that, starring a character from the nearly forgotten Ultra Vortek?

If you are unfamiliar with Ultra Vortek, that forgotten Mortal Kombat-like game where Volcana comes from was exclusive for the Atari Jaguar, which was a failed console that was hopelessly doomed by bad management and false advertising.

All the characters kicking Waluigi's rear in this comic are far more respectable than Waluigi, and should get our respect from us, especially Ultra Vortek's Volcana.

Kick The Ijiwaru

Characters kicking Waluigi's rear, from left to right: Rit (Rod Land, Soldam), Suchie-Pai (Suchie-Pai), Lip (Panel de Pon), Sakura Kinomoto (Star Dress) (Cardcaptor Sakura).

Let's face it. Waluigi will never get his day in the spotlight, because his name is an anagram of ijiwaru, which means ill-natured. And such an ill-natured person gets no love from Nintendo that he will never be Player 2 in a Wario Land game, or have his own set of microgames in the WarioWare series, or become a major antagonist in any game where Luigi is the main character, or even have his own game at all. Instead, in this comic, he gets kicked on the rear by more respectable characters who should get more respect from us. No wonder Waluigi was destined to remain an assist trophy in the Super Smash Bros games. His name was not worthy of any respect from us.

Reason for Calamity

Maybe we should not have ditched the Anno Mundi Calendar. It's possible the natural disasters caused by climate change were the result of us severing ties with God. Yet we persist on following traditions that were not only not found in the Bible, but were actually prohibited by God. No wonder the calamities Earth is suffering from over the past few decades are getting worse and worse. It's time we go back to the Anno Mundi Calendar and turn back to God.

Whoever thinks Jesus was born a few days after the Winter Solstice is clearly unaware that nowhere in the Bible does it tell us to observe Jesus' birth. In fact, the exact date of Jesus' birth was never listed in the Bible, although the clues claim that Jesus was born near the end of September, with the clues being shepherds watching their flocks and a population census was being carried out. Shepherds would never take their flocks out in the cold winter weather, and nobody in the right mind would carry out a population census in winter. Maybe Jesus was born near the Autumn Equinox. Who knows?

Why We Dislike Mondays

If there is any genuine reason for a lot of people, including Garfield, to hate Mondays, blame "the little horn" from Daniel 7 for tricking us into following a clumsy man-made calendar that is not of Godly origin. Maybe this is why God is so displeased with us that he is judging the Earth to the point that some people regret ditching the Anno Mundi Calendar for a clumsy man-made calendar that is not of Godly origin. We should go back to observing the days, weeks, months and years according to the Anno Mundi Calendar. Only then will we be truly able to count the 1260 days of the Great Tribulation until the return of the Chosen One.

The Anno Mundi Calendar states that the week begins at the end of the true Sabbath, which occurs on the sunset of Saturday. But "the little horn" makes us begin the working week at the stroke of midnight on Monday. The Anno Mundi Calendar states that the months begin with the new moons, But this "little horn" makes us begin the months according to a clumsy man-made calendar that is not of Godly origin. The Anno Mundi Calendar states that the year begins on the Spring Equinox, when life starts budding in nature everywhere, yet "the little horn" tricked a deluded world into beginning the year in the middle of dead winter.

Eventually, our hatred of Mondays will disappear when Yeshua eliminates "the little horn" for all the deceitfulness that deluded the world for thousands of years. Garfield will be very happy to welcome Yeshua back, for he will set everything right by making the Earth go back to following the Anno Mundi Calendar again.

In Memory of Masayuki Uemura

It is with deep sadness that Masayuki Uemura's obituary was announced yesterday. Uemura passed away on the 6th of December, 2021. And the 6th of December was formerly the birthday of the late Satoru Iwata. 2021 has seen many major obituaries, including Kentaro Miura, Koichi Sugiyama, and Sir Clive Sinclair.

Masayuki Uemura was known for creating the Famicom, Super Famicom, and their international counterparts, the NES and SNES. He was also one of the co-creators of Nintendo's very first video game hardware, the Color TV Game, as well as the Satellaview add-on for the Super Famicom. He retired from Nintendo in 2004 and became a professor in Ritsumeikan University in Kyoto.

Rest In Peace, Masayuki Uemura. Your legacy will live on in all the Nintendo hardware that you created from 1977 to the mid-1990s.

Thrown Weapons

Throwing weapons featured in this comic: Throwing axe (Castlevania), lance-shaped javelin (Ghosts'n Goblins), dagger (Castlevania, Ghosts'n Goblins), stick grenade (Metal Slug), large shuriken (Ninja Gaiden), pitfall seed (Animal Crossing).

Axes are a common sub-weapon in Castlevania, and this is showcased in Super Smash Bros Ultimate by Simon and Richter as their neutral special move.

A lance-shaped javelin would be a silly weapon, especially in Ghosts'n Goblins. Yet Sir Arthur hurls them at the bad guys without giving a thought about how silly the weapon looks. At least it's not as silly as the breakable armor Sir Arthur wears.

Daggers as a throwing weapon are very common, and are featured as weapons in Castlevania and Ghosts'n Goblins, though daggers are more popular in the latter.

Stick grenades are a powerful alternative weapon in Metal Slug available to the player from the start.

Ryu Hayabusa is known for throwing shurikens in the NES Ninja Gaiden, including large shurikens.

The pitfall seed from Animal Crossing can be thrown at opponents to ground them in the Super Smash Bros series.

In general, throwing weapons have been a staple feature throughout video game history.

100% Disapproval Rating

Author's Note: Bobby Kotick should have resigned long before the latest scandal concerning Activision Blizzard.

If you are aware of what is happening right now, Activision Blizzard has been hit by yet another scandal. This time, it's about Bobby Kotick issuing death threats to his assistant in 2006 being revealed to the whole world. This is in addition to the mistreatment of Activision Blizzard's female workers being exposed to the general public. Such unethical business practices made the video game industry demand that Bobby Kotick resign. Net users, however demand that Bobby Kotick should go to jail and Activision Blizzard cease operations for good.

Speaking of Activision Blizzard, I made a couple of comics that are aimed at bashing Activision Blizzard's franchises. You might want to read them here and here.

Sony's Most Malevolent Character

If you want to know why PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale is not getting a sequel, this is because the various heroes, villains and other miscellaneous characters throughout the history of Sony's PlayStation successfully defeated the malevolent being that made them destroy each other so that he can get rid of them and become the sole mascot of PlayStation. We're talking about Polygon Man, the purple polygonal head that PlayStation creator Ken Kutaragi rejected at E3 1995. In the 17 years between that fateful rejection and the E3 2012 Trailer for PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale, Polygon Man became Sony's most malevolent character, driven by the bitterness that he had since being rejected by Ken Kutaragi. So malevolent that he even seeks to destroy the villains of PlayStation. But he just wishes to enslave everybody in order to destroy the PlayStation World and reforge it in his own image as payback for Ken Kutaragi's rejection.

Defining Cold War Alternate History

Today marks the 25th Anniversary of the PC game Command and Conquer Red Alert. This game in the Command and Conquer series catapulted the Cold War alternate history setting genre to massive popularity levels that no other game in this category could achieve prior to this game's launch. There have been several spiritual successors to the Red Alert games such as World in Conflict and the Wargame trilogy, but they just fall short of being true spiritual successors to the Red Alert trilogy. Perhaps it's because the Red Alert trilogy has military equipment that looks like they came straight out of Cold War-era science fiction and an epic soundtrack that World in Conflict and the Wargame trilogy does not have. Happy Anniversary, Command and Conquer Red Alert. Dasvidaniya.

15 Years of Waggle Power

Today marks the 15th Anniversary of Nintendo's Wii. The Wii introduced motion controls into video gaming and was the first Nintendo home console to achieve 100 million units sold, effectively bringing Nintendo back to prominence levels not seen since the N64 era. While the Wii's legacy of the Wii and its motion controls seem to be controversially divisive among the Nintendo fandom, we all have to agree to disagree over the Wii Waggle having easier controls than button-mashing due to the lower skill level required to master it.

Now you're playing with power. Waggle power. Happy 15th Anniversary, Wii.

Author's Note: Unfortunately, this comic may age poorly because the last possible date you can set on the Nintendo Wii's calendar is 31/12/2035. This means the Wii's clock will not work properly after 2035, meaning the Wii will not function properly by the time it turns 30.

XBox Reunion

Today marks the 20th Anniversary of the North American launch of the original XBox by Microsoft. What Microsoft didn't know was that they had created a video gaming brand similar to Sony's PlayStation. As a result, Microsoft brought America back in the Console Wars competition after Atari's exit in 1996.

To pay tribute to the original XBox and commemorate the 20th Anniversary of Microsoft's XBox brand, this comic is getting the band back together for a milestone Anniversary by bringing every XBox console model released over the past 20 years back for one epic reunion.

Happy 20th Anniversary, XBox.

End of Malpractice

Today marks the day Dr Mario World closes its doors for good. So press F to pay respects to a game that was perhaps too quacky for video game healthcare. Like Viridi from Kid Icarus: Uprising said, Dr Mario is a quack. So Nintendo finally pulled the plug on Dr Mario World, and perhaps, this will bring a Mario spin-off that was full of malpractice that had been going unchecked for 31 years since 1990 to an end. Perhaps, such malpractice will be permanently exiled for good...

A Letter that seems Legit

Let's accept it. Halloween should be removed from the calendar altogether. Even the zombies are sick of it and just wish to be transformed back to normal humans just like us. And the pestilence that grows worse by the day is just a lame excuse for its abolition. Halloween should be abolished not just because it has become too unwholesome for its own good, but the Holy Bible denounces it as unholy.

Maybe we should have listened to the Holy Bible. Then the calamities we are suffering through would not have happened. But such calamities were actually predicted by the Bible, so the only thing that's important right now is our personal repentance.

Super Smash Bros Ultimate Superlative Awards

Author's Note: If you are familiar with the Academy Awards (or Star Awards if you come from Singapore like me), here is a superlative awards ceremony for the best and worst highlights of Super Smash Bros Ultimate after 3 years of hype. These awards are just my personal opinion as nobody from Singapore is eligible for purchasing Super Smash Bros Ultimate's DLC. So do not be disappointed if your favourite character or feature or stage did not make the cut in this awards ceremony.

Best non-DLC Newcomer: Simon Belmont. The original poster boy of Castlevania was believed to have been the runner-up of the Smash 4 DLC ballot that Bayonetta won. To make up for this, Konami decided to have two members of the Belmont Clan join Metal Gear Solid's Snake as Konami representatives. Ridley gets a well-deserved runner-up award because Nintendo had been trying to make him playable in Smash since Melee. He could have been the winner, but his side special being a sacrificial KO move caused him to drop points because most grab-based sacrificial KO moves end with the character performing said move losing under the current last life rules.

Worst non-DLC Newcomer: A tie between Chrom and Dark Samus. Chrom is supposed to be an echo fighter of Fire Emblem Roy, but his up special is a slightly inferior version of Ike's up special. Dark Samus is just an echo fighter of Samus, but with Ridley's victory theme. Daisy and Richter are runners-up in this category, but only because Daisy is better than Peach, who was always lame, and Richter's holy water vials do not instantly detonate Blast Boxes and Bombers, which can also be a good thing as well...

Best DLC Character: Sora. The poster boy of Kingdom Hearts was in very high demand in Japan, North America and Europe. Even Disney wanted Sora to be in Nintendo's dueling tournament. Thankfully, a Disney representative met Masahiro Sakurai at an awards ceremony, and demanded that Sora should be playable in Smash. Banjo-Kazooie and Steve, being Microsoft characters in Smash, proved that Microsoft is willing to take their Console Wars hostilities to Nintendo's territory on the personal level. Therefore, they both get the runners-up award for this category.

Worst DLC Character: Piranha Plant. Remember the data corruption glitch? I am very sure Nintendo has not successfully rectified that glitch as of the Version 13.0.0 Update. Byleth gets the runner-up award for this category because He/She did not introduce a data corruption glitch, but received many dislikes from the community for being bland.

The "He/She should have been playable!" Award: Krystal. Unfortunately, due to Krystal not wearing any panties under her skirt for her skimpy costume, she had to be an Assist Trophy. Pyra had to wear a pantyhose just to comply with the age rating boards due to her tiny shorts in order to be playable. Even the school uniform female Inkling is wearing shorts under her skirt. The runner-up for this category, Klonoa, would have been a better Bandai Namco representative in Smash than Kazuya, but inflating opponents would be a huge problem in Smash, and therefore, he was turned down in favour of Kazuya.

The "You're Not Welcome to Smash At All!" Award: Waluigi. Anybody who has self-pity as the cornerstone of his personality can never become playable in Smash. Also, characters owned by Sony are not welcome to participate in a Nintendo dueling tournament because Sony still can never forgive Nintendo for the betrayal that took place in 1991.

Toughest Level 9 CPU: Kazuya Mishima. When he was introduced, even professional players had difficulty defeating him. The runner-up, Sora is almost as broken. Possibly because he can use his zigzagging side special after using his up special.

Best Kirby Hat: Sora Kirby. Even if Kirby does not get to wield a keyblade, at least he can command the elements to conquer his opponents. Kazuya Kirby can angle beam attacks, while Shulk Kirby harnesses the Monado's power, but still, both are not as impressive as Sora Kirby.

Worst Kirby Hat: King Dedede Kirby. Basically Kirby's Inhaling ability, but more mundane. At least the Mii Fighter headbands that Kirby obtains when he inhales Mii Fighters have better abilities.

Best Alternate Costume (That's not a Mii Costume): Gold Coat Kazuya. Gold palette swaps are among the best alternate costumes in Smash, and Gold Coat Kazuya is no exception, except that it is a recolour of a different alternate costume, and not a recolour of the default costume. The runner-up, Leopard Print Snake was always the best Snake alternate costume because it makes the other Snake alternate costumes, including the default, look mediocre.

Best non-DLC Mii Costume: Lip Outfit. Turn your female Mii Swordfighter into a magical girl. Also, it's available from the start. The Special Forces Set turns Mii Gunners into army personnel, and deserves to be the runner-up.

Best DLC Mii Costume: Doom Slayer Set. Finally, Isabelle and the Doom Slayer are together at last. Sort of. The Travis Set gets a respectable runner-up award because Super Smash Bros was referenced in No More Heroes 3.

Most Agonizing Star KO Death Scream: Fire Emblem Roy. His Star KO death scream really sounds like a proper death scream. Snake's Big NO!!!!! also makes a comeback, and now Pit yells "I never learned how to read!" But Snake's and Pit's Star KO death screams are not really death screams.

Best New Item: A draw between Healing Field and Healing Sprout. Both are healing items introduced in Super Smash Bros Ultimate. The Staff gets a runner-up award as it is a shooting item that works like a sniper rifle when fired from long distances. The Bomber gets a 2nd runner-up award because it can be deployed to blast nearby enemies and objects. However, when it falls of a ledge, should it land on solid ground, it will explode upon impact. It can explode by itself like the Bob-omb when left alone or if it was held in hand for too long.

Worst New Item: Fake Smash Ball. This item looks like a Smash Ball but it explodes in an X-shaped explosion, similar to X Bombs. Whatever you do, do not attack the Fake Smash Balls. The effects of Ramblin' Evil Mushrooms are so nasty you wouldn't want to attack them if it means avoiding getting your directional controls reversed by their spores. It can, however, be used like a Fire Flower, to sabotage enemies' directional controls by spraying spores at them.

The Item that should be retired for the next Smash: Poison Mushroom. The most hated item in Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels is so unlikable it should never have been added into Super Smash Bros in the first place. The Fake Smash Ball is obviously a regrettable addition to the items list, and Smoke Balls do nothing other than as a marker for enemy targets. Therefore, all three items should be retired from the next Smash Bros title.

The Item that we would like to have in the next Smash: Mega Mushroom. Grow even bigger than you normally would with this superweapon. Also, the Mega Mushroom theme plays when someone consumes the Mega Mushroom. 1-Up Mushrooms would have been basically the Rally-X Special Flag, except it can be consumed similarly to a Super Mushroom. In timed battles with unlimited lives, the 1-Up Mushroom would instead reset the damage counter to 0% for whoever consumes it.

Best New Feature: Spirits. They work like the equipment in Smash 4, but with mostly positive perks. For the features that got the runners-up awards, we have 8-Player Battles available in all stages and Final Smash Meters. Back when 8-Player Battles were introduced in Super Smash Bros for Wii U, only certain stages can have that feature. But Ultimate change that and now, 8-Player Battles are available on all stages. The Final Smash Meter gives characters a chance to activate a Final Smash when Smash Balls are hard to come by.

Worst New Feature: Small Battlefield. It would definitely not be suitable for anything more than 2 players, although the only reason it exists is for 1 vs 1 matches. While it's understandable that Final Smash Meters need to have a time limit, but why do they need a use it or lose it situation? 8-Player Battles make sense in Ω form stages, but Battlefield form stages? There's not enough room for that!

Most Improved Feature: Stage Builder. This version is a large improvement from the Wii U Smash Bros Stage Builder, although it still does not really meet the expectations of some players. Maybe we will get a better one when Smash Bros takes the Super Mario Maker path regarding the series' future after Masahiro Sakurai. The campaign mode, World of Light, while not as great as The Subspace Emissary, has a navigation feature simpler than the navigation in Brawl's campaign mode. The Classic Mode in Ultimate is now more focused on recurring themes, some of which focus more on lore.

The Feature that will be sorely missed: Trophies (and Trophy Rush). Saying goodbye to trophies, and with it, Trophy Rush, was perhaps the biggest omission in the game. Perhaps this is due to spirits lacking lore descriptions that trophies have. This means no more Trophy Rush, and Trophy Rush was actually one of my favourite mini-games in the 3DS version of Smash 4. Target Blast was also one of my favourite mini-games in the 3DS version of Smash 4. But it did not return for Ultimate, unlike Home-Run Contest.

Best New Stage: King of Fighters Stadium. While it is harder to score KOs by smacking opponents towards the blast lines on the left or right sides of the stage due to invisible barriers, judging by the need to deal enough knockback on opponents to penetrate the invisible barriers, said barriers can actually be a lifesaver. Also, Metal Slug music is available on this stage. The Minecraft World, Mishima Dojo and Hollow Bastion stages all get a runner-up award for this category because people actually want Minecraft, Tekken and Kingdom Hearts to be represented in Smash.

Worst New Stage: Small Battlefield. The only reason Small Battlefield exists is solely for 1 vs 1 matches. Nothing more, nothing less.

The Stage that should not have been omitted: Pac-Maze. This stage is more synonymous with Pac-Man than Pac-Land. Mario Kart 7's version Rainbow Road was added in Super Smash Bros for 3DS, but was cut from Ultimate, in spite of Rainbow Road themes being included in the game.

So there you have it. These are my opinions on who the award winners for the Super Smash Bros Ultimate Superlative Awards are. Your opinions may vary. So let me know if your choice was not on my list.

Super Smash Bros Ultimate © Nintendo.

30 Years of Puyo Puyo

Can you believe it's been 30 years since the now-defunct Compile released a puzzle spin-off of Madou Monogatari that ultimately became Sega's best-selling franchise that's not Sonic the Hedgehog? In fact, unlike Sonic, Puyo Puyo is the best Sega IP that does not have a tarnished reputation. It just had to wait until their crossover with Tetris to finally make their big time entrance in the international market, which the series had been waiting for since Puyo Pop Fever.

Happy 30th Anniversary, Puyo Puyo. You are by far better than Sonic the Hedgehog.

Getting her bikini wet in style

Remember those comics about panties getting wet? In this comic, bikini bottoms are getting wet the same way, and bikini bottoms are more suitable for getting wet than lingerie panties. In other words, female swimwear bottoms are better than lingerie panties when it comes to getting wet in style.

Internet Legacy

Let's face it. The Internet that we all grew up with has already started to fade away. This is mainly because of new regulations that are too heavy-handed and are causing net users to quit altogether.

There was a time when you could do anything to achieve Internet stardom just by starting from humble beginnings. Unfortunately, this is (mostly) no longer the case now. And this had been gradually happening over the past several years. To make matters worse, this is basically making leaving behind a legacy on the Internet harder.

Do you really miss the Golden Age of Fair Use? Because we are living in the twilight years of that Golden Age, and it's coming to an end faster than most people think...

Ingredients to Pies

Pies are just one type of food found in RuneScape, and there are many types of pies found in the RuneScape game, five of which are featured in this comic.

Here is a list of the ingredients for the five pies featured in this comic:

Meat pie: Cooked beef or cooked chicken is fine.

Apple pie: Red or green apples will do, but the apples in RuneScape are green.

Fish pie: Trout, cod and raw potato. The trout and cod should be cooked before being added.

Admiral pie: Salmon, tuna and raw potato. Like the fish pie, the salmon and tuna should be cooked before being added.

Summer pie: Add the strawberry first, then the watermelon, and finally, add the apple last.

The Nonsensical War

If there was anything that makes no sense in the Kingdom Hearts series, it would be the Keyblade War and the time paradoxes. As of Kingdom Hearts 3, a new Keyblade War is in progress. Even if Wreck-It Ralph terminates Master Xehanort and Organization XIII and help Sora and his friends piece together the χ-blade for Fix-It Felix Jr to fix with his hammer, this happy ending is unlikely to happen because with our world heading towards a new World War, you might as well add Kingdom Hearts 4 to the list of stuff we will not have before World War 3 alongside Half-Life 3. In other words, the Kingdom Hearts lore has become so nonsensical that the series has become goofier than Goofy.

Then again, despite being bested by Sora, Master Xehanort's defeat did not right the wrongs that he caused because Kingdom Hearts was consumed by darkness. That is until Xehanort's childhood friend Eraqus tells him enough. It turns out that the entire story of the Kingdom Hearts series was based on a chess match between them. Xehanort entrusts the χ-blade to Sora and his friends. But unfortunately, Xehanort's second-in-command, Xigbar, who was the only person who knew about Xehanort's plot from the beginning, acquires the No Name Keyblade that was left behind as a result of Xehanort's demise, eventually revealing himself to be Luxu. In other words, Xehanort was a major pawn in someone else's plans.

Update: Kingdom Hearts 4 has already been announced, but as for the launch date and the platforms the game will be available on remains unknown as at the time of the announcement trailer.

Not Coming to Smash

It's official. Due to Sora from Kingdom Hearts being confirmed to be the final Fighters Pass character, Sakura Kinomoto from Cardcaptor Sakura has announced that she has officially withdrawn from Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Also, Eva McKenna from Red Alert 3 has proclaimed the bad news that Sakura Kinomoto is not coming to Super Smash Bros Ultimate at all, and this has left several people such as Rover from Animal Crossing shocked. Perhaps this has something to do with the "No non-video game characters allowed" policy, or it could be due to her having dark secrets related to Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, or possibly magical girls were never designed for Smash.

Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3 © Electronic Arts. Nintendo games and characters © Nintendo.

No Ash For Smash

If you were a fan of Ash Ketchum since Episode 1 of the Pokemon Anime, you should be disappointed because the final Fighters Pass character to complete the Super Smash Bros Ultimate roster was not Ash Ketchum, but Sora from Kingdom Hearts, who was actually a far better choice to fill the final slot than Ash Ketchum and Waluigi combined. Surely Ash Ketchum not being the final Fighters Pass character has to be even more depressing than the Pokemon series finale that the late Takeshi Shudo proposed, which reveals that Pokemon was all just a dream from a dying Ash Ketchum, who was actually delusional due to a mental illness, and not some dumb adolescent.

Sadly, Ultimate could be the very last Super Smash Bros game before a war bigger than all the wars that have taken place since the beginning of mankind begins, meaning Waluigi and Ash Ketchum will not even have any justice at all...

Update: The Ash Ketchum Arc has officially ended, and it ended with "Next Time, A New Beginning". It was not the depressing series finale that the late Takeshi Shudo proposed. But then again, Ash will not be in any future Super Smash Bros titles as a result of the end of the Ash Ketchum Arc.

It's Never Waluigi Time

Sad as it is, Waluigi will have to wallow in self-pity over absolutely nothing going his way. Judging by the keyblade impaling the gamma symbol, Sora from Kingdom Hearts has officially killed off all chances of Waluigi becoming a playable character in Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Looks like Waluigi will have to live with depression for many years to come...

On a related note, Congratulations, Sora. You definitely deserved the final Fighters Pass character slot, unlike Waluigi, who is very obnoxious and should stay far from having the glory that he had been yearning for since his debut in Mario Tennis in 2000.

No Justice for Waluigi

It's a pity that Waluigi will have to wallow in self-pity for as long as he exists because the final Fighters Pass character slot just went to Sora from Kingdom Hearts. Looks like Waluigi and his fans will have to accept the fact that Waluigi will never have any justice or glory whatsoever...

DLC Finale Hype

In anime and manga, magical girls are portrayed as protectors of their hometown and perhaps their world. Back when I was a kid, I would even think that magical girls would go toe to toe with the likes of a cap-wearing Shonen adolescent. However, this is not possible, as said adolescent would not be allowed to even punch his enemies, and not to forget that non-video game characters are not allowed to participate in a dueling tournament designed to be a celebration of video game history. If that is not enough, some magical girls face monstrous villains that will make most of gaming's worst villains look weak in comparison. Thankfully, Rit from Rod Land is not one of these magical girls. However, if she is not the final Fighters Pass character, just trying her best to get that slot will be more than enough for her to prove herself a heroine to the magical girl community.

Unlike Microsoft, who allowed Banjo-Kazooie and Minecraft's Steve to participate in Super Smash Bros Ultimate, Sony will never consider having any of their characters take part in a Nintendo dueling tournament. Despite porting several first-party PlayStation titles to Windows PCs in recent months, as well as an official mobile Lemmings game, Sony will never even think of having any of their characters fill the final Fighters Pass character slot. This is because of Nintendo's betrayal of Sony in 1991, which left Sony bitter towards Nintendo to this day.

Who knows if Polygon Man really dislikes Nintendo and Microsoft more than he dislikes PlayStation mascots...

Update: Sora from Kingdom Hearts just got the final Fighters Pass character slot, and he is not property of Sony Interactive Entertainment. This means Super Smash Bros Ultimate does not have any characters from Sony Interactive Entertainment at all. In other words, Polygon Man dislikes Nintendo and Microsoft a lot more than PlayStation mascots...

Fighters Pass Radar Display

The final Fighters Pass Volume 2 character slot in Super Smash Bros Ultimate will finally be filled up on the 5th of October, completing the character roster. Who exactly is it will only be revealed on that day. But time is running out...

Here are my picks for the possible characters (indicated as blips on the radar display featured in this comic) that will finally fill that slot:

Lemming (Lemmings)

Master Chief (Halo)

Tanya Adams (Command and Conquer Red Alert)

Ash Ketchum (Pokemon)

Lip (Panel de Pon)

Rit (Rod Land, Soldam)

Sakura Kinomoto (Cardcaptor Sakura)

Klonoa (Klonoa)

Bill Rizer (Contra)

Marco Rossi (Metal Slug)

Arle Nadja (Puyo Puyo)

Yuna (Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2)

Ninjara (ARMS)

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

Dr Eggman (Sonic)

Decidueye (Pokemon)

Gradriel (Princess Crown)

Scorpion (Mortal Kombat)

Cinderace (Pokemon)

Yuko Asou (Valis)

Hebereke (Hebereke)

Dirk the Daring (Dragon's Lair)

Bandana Waddle Dee (Kirby)

Doom Slayer (Doom)

Wreck-It Ralph (Wreck-It Ralph)

Ryu Hayabusa (Ninja Gaiden, Dead or Alive)

Sir Arthur (Ghosts'N Goblins)

Gilius Thunderhead (Golden Axe)

Ryza (Atelier Ryza)

Spelunker (Spelunker)

Geno (Super Mario RPG)

Hitmonchan (Pokemon)

When the final character is announced, the comic's description will be updated as soon as possible, even if none of my choices made the cut. In the meantime, please wait for the 5th of October.

Update: Sora from Kingdom Hearts qualified for Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Looks like for once I finally got it right this time...

Third Strike

Baseball and bowling are sports featured in the Wii Sports series, with bowling being in all three games in the series, while baseball is omitted from Wii Sports Resort. Both sports, however, happen to have different perspectives about getting the third strike.

In baseball, getting three strikes in a row means you're out. In bowling, getting three strikes in a row means you scored a turkey. Talk about negative and positive perspectives...

Remembering Clive Sinclair

It is with deep sadness that Sir Clive Sinclair, the creator of the ZX-80, ZX-81 and ZX Spectrum, passed away on the 16th of September, 2021, at the age of 81. He invented the future, but the future was not ready for it. Perhaps his greatest legacy was that he introduced the world to affordable computing when the ZX Spectrum was released on the 23rd of April, 1982.

Farewell, great inventor. Your legacy will live on through the various ZX Spectrum fan clubs.

Being Square for 20 Years

Today marks the 20th Anniversary of the Japanese launch of the Nintendo GameCube. Although the GameCube is not as fondly remembered as the NES, SNES, N64, Wii, Switch or the Nintendo handhelds due to low sales over its lifetime, this console gave us Luigi's Mansion, Super Smash Bros Melee, Pikmin, Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix and Mario Kart Double Dash.

The GameCube only did better than the Sega Dreamcast because the Dreamcast was discontinued months before the GameCube's launch date. Had Nintendo learnt to be humble, they would have shown more respect for the GameCube and its Game Boy Player, which brought most of the Game Boy family's game library to consoles. This prolonged the lifespan of the Game Boy family, which was eventually discontinued in 2010. The GameCube was also one of the first Nintendo consoles to feature games published by Sega, resulting in a reconciliation between the two competitors after Sega's exit from hardware production.

If being humble was Nintendo's thing, which obviously it was not, relations between Nintendo and its customers would not be so toxic. No wonder Nintendo had been the target of boycotts. They really need to learn humility as much as Japan needs to embrace common law.

Happy 20th Anniversary, Nintendo GameCube!

Similar, yet different

Since the dawn of art, fanservice has been one of the most recurring themes in the history of art, illustrations and photography. The obsession with scanty female clothing takes the lion's share of fanservice, and it does not help when several female garments look similar to each other.

It is possible that leotards and lingerie may have influence swimwear designers to design new female swimsuits. The leotard's design may have been the inspiration for the female one-piece swimsuit that we are all familiar with today, and the bikini's design could have been inspired by female undergarments. While the designs of male undergarments get their inspiration from shorts worn by boxers, which we get boxer shorts from, and later on, swimming trunks, female swimsuit designs got their inspiration from bras, panties and leotards. In other words, fashion designers have unknowingly created aquatic versions of the bra, the panty and the leotard, all of which were not designed for swimming.

Excluded from WarioWare

Today is the day WarioWare: Get It Together! launches for the Nintendo Switch. This means WarioWare is back with more zany microgames. Unfortunately for Waluigi fans, the lanky purple guy is not going to be in the game at all. Guess Waluigi will have to continue wallowing in self-pity over being left out of WarioWare...

Nintendo games and characters © Nintendo.

Skirt Fell Down!

Wardrobe malfunctions such as belts ripping apart due to broad waists and skirts falling down as a result used to be funny. However, new regulations that have been implemented in recent years have announced that wardrobe malfunctions hurt the feelings of other people and are therefore not funny...

Future of Japanese Freedom

Japan needs to be reminded that they owe their democracy to losing World War 2 to the United States and United Kingdom.

If you want to know the real reason behind the litigations taken by Nintendo and Square Enix against so-called acts of intellectual property piracy, which includes the counterfeiting of copyrighted trademarks that fan games are guilty of, keep in mind that the Japanese government included copyright infringement as one of the serious offences listed in their 2017 anti-terrorism bill. Then again, copyright infringement was already weaponized by terrorists for several years already, so it would make sense to include copyright infringement as one of the serious offences in an anti-terrorism bill. However, this would erode freedom of creativity, which proliferated as a result of the Fair Use Act and its equivalents. This anti-terrorism bill is not the only thing that is endangering the freedom of both Japanese and foreign net users.

Recently, the fury of anti-Olympics protesters in Tokyo was met with police brutality. This is not a good sign for Japanese people's freedoms. As if the current pandemic wasn't bad enough, Japanese people could lose more freedoms in the following days after the end of the Paralympics in Tokyo. Soon, freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom of the press, and freedom of creativity in Japan will be no more. The last time this happened was in the 1930s, prior to World War 2. In other words, the sun has set for the Japan that we all grew up with since the later Showa and early Heisei periods, and we will all be witnessing the second death of Japanese democracy...

Predictions for an Endgame Scenario

Author's Note: Currently, as at the time of this comic being published, Wooden Plank Studios' Kazuya Story Arc is still ongoing.

It all started with Sephiroth poisoning his guests at the E3 Dinner Party. Tekken's Kazuya Mishima managed to find Incineroar and Kirby still alive. However, he had to begin his quest to revive everyone who perished at the E3 Dinner Party. Why Sephiroth poisoned everyone remains unclear. However, it may have something to do with Sony not being at E3 2021. This could mean that the mastermind behind Sephiroth's mass poisoning was not only his mother Jenova, who is not quite dead despite being technically dead for thousands of years since the destruction of the Cetra, but Sony, the creators and owners of the PlayStation brand, could possibly have been involved in what appears to be an anti-Nintendo plot as well as an anti-Microsoft plot.

We have not reached the point where any of these endgame scenarios will happen yet. But the one where Sephiroth pulls a Tim Curry by quoting Cherdenko's quote of escaping his enemies, will reveal that Sony is the one place that hasn't been corrupted by Nintendo's tripe. All three possible endgame scenarios will involve the PlayStation characters turning their weapons against Sephiroth because he hurt the Sackboy's feelings.

It's possible Polygon Man was the true mastermind behind all of this. He disliked E3 ever since he was rejected by PlayStation creator Ken Kutaragi at E3 1995.

Update: None of my predictions were correct, but there was an Avengers: Endgame-style final battle between Kazuya's army and Sephiroth's army, and Kazuya's army emerged victorious because Kirby disabled Sephiroth's Jenova Cells with a Friend Heart, allowing Cloud and Joker to land a coup de grace on him. Once Sephiroth felt that could not stand punching Pichu, his army of villains disbanded, and he had to be Kazuya's prisoner. As for Jenova and Polygon Man, neither one showed up because they prefer to keep to the sidelines. It makes sense for Jenova because she was technically dead for thousands of years since the extinction of the Cetra people. In Polygon Man's case, he keeps to the sidelines even when you face him in the Boss Arena. The most the malevolent head could do is transform into stage hazards or slam on you like a Thwomp, which leaves him vulnerable to attack.

Now that Kazuya's Quest is over, Kazuya begins a new quest in the Paldea Region. Congratulations to Wooden Plank Studios for creating one of the longest story arcs in webcomic history!

Undeniable Truth

It's official. The Golden Age that was Pax Britannica and Pax Americana is officially over, and we can deny it no longer. However, this depressing end was prophesied in Leviticus 26:14-39 and Deuteronomy 28:15-68 regarding the consequences of violating the God-given laws stated in Leviticus 26 and Deuteronomy 28. Had we known that the United States and the British Commonwealth were descendants of Joseph's sons Ephraim and Manasseh, we would do anything to slow down the inevitable downfall of the United States and the British Commonwealth. Unfortunately, it's already too late to prevent this tragic demise. The sad fate of the United States and the British Commonwealth going to suffer the same tragic fate as the Israelite Empire will perhaps happen within our lifetime...

Done with Shrimp Consumption

According to the dietary rules of Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 14, fish that have fins and scales are good for eating. Shrimps, however, do not qualify for this criteria, and are not to be eaten by mankind. Unfortunately, the dietary rules of Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 14 had been disregarded, and humanity had paid a terrible price for violating these rules.

But the biblical dietary guidelines forbidding us from eating shrimps are only the tip of the iceberg. To prove that Old Testament dietary guidelines are worth upholding, we must uncover other reasons not to eat shrimps.

Shrimps, being bottom feeders, should not be eaten by humans because of the toxins bottom feeders consume. That is why we should not eat shrimps. God clearly does not want us to eat anything that's toxic.

Then there's environmental reasons. Trawler fishing for wild shrimps have been killing "bycatch" fishes such as sharks, sea turtles, starfishes and fishes that so happen to have fins and scales. Shrimp farming is no better either because it has destroyed mangroves and the chemical usage involved is appalling. As a result, the land becomes uninhabitable after the shrimp farms leave the area.

Yet the consumption of seafood that do not have fins and scales such as shrimps restore life points in RuneScape, and the player characters do not get any real-life health problems that people in real life such as RuneScape players get from eating shrimps. Perhaps it was a good decision for me to quit RuneScape and never to return to the game again. Who knows what controversies will Jagex and the RuneScape game run into in the future?

Perhaps it's time we removed shrimp cocktails and tempura from our menus in order to comply with the dietary rules of Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 14 that were never abolished when the New Testament was first published...

RuneScape © Jagex.

Obadiah's Prophecy

According to the Book of Obadiah, the descendants of Esau will go extinct for all the evils they did to the descendants of Jacob since ancient times, which will be fulfilled as a result of the dreaded Day of the Lord, which will end with Jesus Christ's Second Coming bringing this evil age to an end, ushering in a genuine golden age. Although Edom was wiped off the map, it is unknown where the modern descendants of the Edomites have gone to. Some claim they are now residing in Asia Minor or Central Asia. But we do not know if those claims are true. Psalms 83 states that Edom will be part of a sinister plot to blot out the name of Israel forever. This plot will fail miserably in spite of the amount of bloodshed involved because the evildoers will be smitten by a grand coalition of Russo-Asiatic hordes known in Revelation 16:12 as the "Kings of the East".

However, the descendants of Esau will get one last chance at life when they get resurrected for judgement at the Great White Throne along with everyone else who was not resurrected at the start of the 1000 years of Christ's reign on Earth. How many of Esau's descendants will end up in the Lake of Fire we do not know...

Bronze Sky, Iron Ground

According to Deuteronomy 28:23, one of the consequences of disobeying God was that the sky will become like bronze, and the ground like iron. However, this is not about the sky literally becoming bronze and the ground literally becoming iron. It just symbolizes poor harvest.

Currently, the (modern) descendants of the tribes of Ephraim, Manasseh and Judah are now on the outer edges of the absolute worst times mankind will ever know. This is terribly bad, especially for the Gentiles who chose to befriend these three tribes that come from the lineage of Jacob. When the Great Tribulation begins, Gentiles will be forbidden from standing with the nations descended from the tribes of Ephraim, Manasseh and Judah, and will be severely punished for doing so. We are already seeing this situation in the Anglosphere already, in particular, the United States of America. America's bread basket is at the mercy of the consequences of disobeying God. Unless America repents, which is very unlikely as it is possibly too late for any real repentance, America and its genuine allies are going to be in for the stuff of nightmares...

30 Years of Purple Power

Today marks the 30th Anniversary of the launch of the Super Nintendo Entertainment System in the United States and Canada in 1991. Back then, those two countries where the purple SNES was launched in were very stable, which was good for the rest of the world. Where have all those happy days from the Console Wars between Nintendo, Sega and NEC gone? The United States and Canada was not in such a terrible shape back then. Now we are living in turbulent times where speaking the truth is potentially a crime, and Fair Use is being phased out. How those good times disappeared before our very eyes...

Random Clawshots

If Link could randomly fire his clawshot, who knows what his clawshot would grapple on...

It's hilarious to see the lower part of Princess Peach's dress get ripped off, exposing her panties, and it's even more hilarious if she was wearing striped panties.

Magikoopas are warlocks who transmute brick blocks into various objects such as Goombas, Koopa Troopas, Spinies, coins and mushrooms. Kamek is the most prominent Magikoopa, and snatching his wand will render him unable to transmute brick blocks into Goombas, Koopa Troopas and Spinies.

Sega confirmed that Dr Eggman's moustache is fake. Therefore, ripping it off would be the best way to humiliate him, and yes, that is Mega Drive Dr Eggman that got his moustache ripped off.

For those worried about people losing their heads, the Dr Wily that lost his head was the fake that fooled Mega Man, allowing the real Dr Wily to live to fight another day.

Mr Krabs is notorious for his obsession with money and greed, and he is gasping over his dollar bill being snatched away by a random clawshot.

Nice Swimsuit

Female swimsuits tend to attract a lot of attention at the beach, specifically the swimsuits without shoulder straps.

The swimsuit featured in this comic comes from MapleStory's Cash Shop, a place where you can purchase many wacky different outfits, including swimwear.

Click here to know where the inspiration for this comic comes from.

Video Game Television

Credits to Norwegian RuneScape YouTuber Will Miss It for the idea for this comic.

If only there were better television shows based on video games, then only we would stop taking our TV shows for granted, including TV shows based on video games.

Here are some good TV shows based on video games that do not exist but we wished they existed:

Breaking Bubsy

Based on: Breaking Bad

Bubsy struggles to survive in a society that totally dislikes him while everyone makes his life miserable.

Everybody Hates Bubsy

Based on: Everybody Hates Chris

Similar to Breaking Bubsy, but with people who dislike Bubsy out to get him dead.

Kusoge Kombat

Based on: The Mortal Kombat cartoon

Kusoge game characters such as Wynn from Mystery of Atlantis, Gonbe and Tago from Ikki, and Spelunker, fight to the bitter end against each other for their personal survival.

So You Think You Can Fight

Based on: So You Think You Can Dance

Basically a combat-themed version of So You Think You Can Dance. Contestants have to beat up various objects such as a sandbag.

The Kloffice

Based on: The Office

Let's face it. The Kloffice will be the closest thing Klonoa will ever have to having a white-collar job, and Isabelle from Animal Crossing could just be one of his co-workers.

Last Noob Standing

Based on: Last Man Standing

The weakest characters in video game history battle each other to the death. In this case, Dan Hibiki from Street Fighter emerged victorious with Bubsy and a RuneScape Noob laying dead on the floor. Enjoy your moment of victory while you can, Dan Hibiki. You will still be considered very low in the Street Fighter character rankings list.

Whose Ability Is It Anyway

Based on: Whose Line Is It Anyway

Whose Line Is It Anyway features multiple different games performed by the performers. One of the games performed by the performers is Foreign Film Dub. In video games, cutscenes are basically the equivalent of film, which is why Foreign Cutscene Dub is one of the games performed in Whose Ability Is It Anyway.

Lemmings Invasion

Based on: Rabbids Invasion

While Rabbids Invasion revolves around the Rabbids coming to our society, Lemmings Invasion revolves around the Lemmings coming to our society. At least the Lemmings will be better than the Rabbids, assuming the Lemmings do not self-destruct...

Mii Vs Food

Based on: Man Vs Food

A Mii wearing a chef hat arms himself with a kitchen knife to slice his way through various food-based enemies, including Mr Hot Dog, Mr Egg and Mr Pickle from BurgerTime.

The Browser Wars

This show is all about Internet web browsers fighting a long war against each other. The various browsers warring against each other include Internet Explorer, Microsoft Edge, Mozilla Firefox and Google Chrome.

Super Smash Bros Supercade Smackdown

Based on: Saturday Supercade

Remember Saturday Supercade? Well, imagine if Super Smash Bros had a TV series, it would aim to relive the glory days of Saturday Supercade. This is a show we would definitely watch.

Please be mindful that this comic was designed before Microsoft announced the end of support for Internet Explorer.